Complete control over emotions. How to control your emotions: techniques and techniques

You can not hold back emotions, get angry, scream, laugh, cry out loud and resent loudly. Do you think anyone likes such sincerity? Only your enemies enjoy watching this spectacle. Learning to manage emotions!

Sometimes, succumbing to emotions or allowing ourselves to be led by false feelings, we do things that we later regret. At the same time, we make excuses that we have lost control of ourselves, so emotions have taken over the mind. That is, we did not control emotions, but they controlled us.

Is it really that bad? Perhaps there is nothing good in the absence of self-control. People who do not know how to control themselves, maintain self-control and subordinate feelings to their will, as a rule, do not achieve success either in their personal lives or in the professional sphere.

They are not thinking about tomorrow, and their expenses often far exceed their income.

Unrestrained people flare up like a match in any quarrel, unable to stop in time and compromise, which deserves a reputation as a conflict person. At the same time, they also destroy their health: doctors say that many diseases are directly related to such negative emotions as anger, etc. People who value their own peace and nerves prefer to avoid them.

People who are not used to limiting themselves spend too much of their free time in empty entertainment and useless conversations. If they make promises, they themselves are not sure whether they can keep them. It is not surprising that in whatever area they work, they are rarely professionals in their field. And the reason for everything is the lack of self-control.

A developed sense of self-control allows you to keep a cool head in any situation, sober thoughts and an understanding that feelings can turn out to be false and lead to a dead end.

There are situations when we need to hide our emotions in our own interests. “Sometimes I am a fox, sometimes I am a lion,” said the French commander. “The secret… is to know when to be one, when to be different!”

Self-controlled people deserve respect and enjoy authority. On the other hand, they seem to many to be callous, heartless, "insensitive chumps" and ... incomprehensible. Much clearer to us are those who from time to time "indulge in all serious", "breaks down", loses control over themselves and commits unpredictable acts! Looking at them, and we seem to ourselves not so weak. Moreover, it is not so easy to become restrained and strong-willed. So we reassure ourselves that the life of people who are guided by reason, and not by feelings, is bleak, and therefore unhappy.

The fact that this is not so is evidenced by an experiment conducted by psychologists, as a result of which they came to the conclusion: people who can overcome themselves and resist momentary temptation are more successful and happy than those who are not able to cope with emotions.

The experiment is named after Michel Walter, a psychologist at Stanford University. He is also known as the "marshmallow test" because one of his main "heroes" is an ordinary marshmallow.

In an experiment conducted in the 60s of the last century, 653 children of 4 years of age participated. They were led in turn into a room where one marshmallow lay on the table in a plate. Each child was told that he could eat it right now, but if he waited 15 minutes, he would get another one, and then he could eat both. Michelle Walter left the child alone for a few minutes and then returned. 70% of children ate one marshmallow before his return, and only 30 waited for him and got the second one. It is curious that the same percentage was observed during a similar experiment in two other countries where it was conducted.

Michel Walter followed the fate of his wards and after 15 years came to the conclusion that those who at one time did not succumb to the temptation to get “everything and now”, but were able to control themselves, turned out to be more teachable and successful in their chosen areas of knowledge and interests. Thus, it was concluded that the ability to self-control significantly improves the quality of human life.

Itzhak Pintosevich, who is called the "coach of success", argues that those who are not in control of themselves and their actions should forever forget about efficiency.

How to learn to manage yourself

1. Recall the “marshmallow test”

30% of 4-year-olds already knew how. This trait of character was inherited by them "by nature" or this skill was brought up in them by their parents.

Someone said: “Don't raise your children, they will still look like you. Educate yourself." Indeed, we want to see our children restrained, but we ourselves arrange tantrums in front of their eyes. We tell them that they must cultivate willpower in themselves, but we ourselves show weakness of character. We remind you that they must be punctual, and every morning we are late for work.

Therefore, we begin to learn to control ourselves by carefully analyzing our behavior and identifying "weak spots" - where exactly we allow ourselves to "bloom".

2. Components of control

The aforementioned Yitzhak Pintosevich believes that in order for control to be effective, it must include 3 components:

1. Be honest with yourself and have no illusions about yourself;
2. You should control yourself systematically, and not from case to case;
3. Control should be not only internal (when we control ourselves), but also external. For example, we promised to solve the problem in such and such a time. And, in order not to leave ourselves a loophole for retreat, we announce this in the circle of colleagues. If we do not meet the announced time, we pay them a fine. The danger of losing a decent amount will serve as a good incentive in order not to be distracted by extraneous matters.

3. We write down on the sheet the main goals facing us, and put (or hang) it in a prominent place

Every day we monitor how we managed to move towards their implementation.

4. Get your finances in order

We keep loans under control, remember if we have debts that urgently need to be paid off, and reduce the debit to the loan. Our emotional state is quite dependent on the state of our finances. Therefore, the less confusion and problems in this area, the less we will have reasons to "lose our temper."

5. We observe our reaction to events that cause strong emotions in us, and analyze whether they are worth our experiences

We imagine the worst option and understand that it is not as terrible as the consequences of our inadequate and thoughtless behavior.

6. Doing the opposite

We are angry with a colleague, and we are tempted to say “a couple of kind words” to him. Instead, we smile affably and say a compliment. If we felt offended that another employee was sent to the conference instead of us, we don’t get angry, but we rejoice for him and wish him a happy journey.

From the very morning we were overcome by laziness, and - turn on the music, and take up some business. In a word, we act contrary to what our emotions tell us.

7. A famous phrase says: we cannot change circumstances, but we can change our attitude towards them.

We are surrounded by different people, and not all of them are friendly and fair to us. We cannot be upset and indignant every time we meet someone else's envy, anger, rudeness. We must come to terms with what we cannot influence.

8. The best assistant in mastering the science of self-control is meditation

How physical exercise develop the body, so meditation trains the mind. Through daily meditation sessions one can learn to avoid negative emotions, not to succumb to passions that interfere with a sober look at circumstances and that can destroy life. With the help of meditation, a person plunges into a state of calm and achieves harmony with himself.

Incredible Facts

Feeling emotions is normal, the problem is that often we do not know at all what to do with them.

Therefore, in most cases, we resort to familiar methods. For men, the most common outlets are video games, alcohol and smoking. Women deal with their emotions through food or shopping.

It's good if it happens from time to time. However, most often we use such unhealthy methods regularly. In the end, our relationships, work and health suffer.

How can you learn to manage your emotions effectively?

There are a few rules to remember.

How to learn to control your emotions

1. You don't choose your emotions because they originate in a part of the brain that we have no control over.

2. Emotions defy moral rules. They are neither good nor bad, right or wrong. It's just emotions.

3. You are in charge of your emotions.

4. You can suppress emotions, but you cannot get rid of them.

5. Emotions can lead you astray or lead you down the right path. Everything depends on your actions.

6. The more you ignore them, the stronger they become.

7. The only way to deal with emotions is to allow yourself to feel them..

8. Emotions fuel your thoughts. You can use your thoughts to control your emotions.

9. You need to understand your emotions and what they want to tell you so you can deal with stress. In other words, you need to digest your emotions.

10. Every emotion carries an important message. This message helps you understand yourself better, even if you try to hide it. Do yourself a favor and accept whatever emotions you have by feeling them.

11. How your parents reacted to your emotions determines how you feel about your emotions now. As you have matured, your emotions have matured along with you. They developed, became deeper and more influential.

How to manage emotions

Your emotions have long been trying to come to the surface. They do not disappear, but go deep into the roots, and these roots make sense.

If you want to get to know your emotions better, start acknowledging them to avoid misunderstandings with others.

There are a few simple steps on how to learn to deal with your emotions.

1. What emotion are you experiencing

The first thing you need to do is determine how you feel. Psychologists distinguish 4 basic emotions: anxiety, sadness, anger, joy.

When you are anxious, thoughts come to you: " What if I don't find a job?", "What if I'm lonely?", "What if I fail the exam?". You worry about the future and what might go wrong. Physically, you may feel an increased heartbeat, muscle tension, jaw clenching.

When you are sad, you have negative thoughts about the past. You feel tired and heavy, you may cry and have difficulty concentrating.

Anger is expressed in thoughts focused on how someone encroached on your values. The physical symptoms are similar to those of anxiety: heart palpitations, a feeling of tightness in the chest.

When you rejoice, thoughts are focused on your accomplishments. For example, you got a desired job, bought an apartment, or received a compliment. Physically, you feel light and calm, smile and laugh.

2. Determine the message of your emotions

Ask yourself a question to understand why you have this or that emotion:

Anxiety: What am I afraid of?

Sadness: What have I lost?

Anger: What values ​​of mine have been hurt by the other person?

Happiness: What did I get?

Emotion management

Once you have identified an emotion and its message, you need to take action. Ask yourself if there is anything that can solve the situation. If possible, do so.

For example, if you are sad and cannot find a job, you can turn to friends and acquaintances for help.

If there is nothing you can do, think about how you can deal with the emotion. Meditate, talk to a friend, write down your thoughts on paper, get physically active, seek professional help. Choose what's right for you.

As you know, a person is not just a physical being that needs food, sleep, etc. Each of us has emotions that are important and need to be expressed. Experienced psychologists advise not to keep your feelings inside and let them spill out - this way you can avoid stress and many psychological problems.

On the other hand, there must be a balance in everything.

A person who does not know how to control his emotions is like a car without brakes, which rushes along the highway, ignoring the signs, and then an accident is inevitable.

Our feelings, if mistreated, can not create, but destroy us and the people around us.

How to learn to control your emotions?

This is the question we will try to answer in this article. By following a few simple tips, you will learn what control and self-control are, learn to control yourself even in the most stressful and unforeseen situations.

1. Don't bring yourself to a "boiling point".

Contrary to many stereotypes, psychologists have proven that any, even the most unbridled temper, can be pacified if you do not take yourself to extremes. And this applies not only to negative, but also to positive emotions. The development of self-control is something that comes from one's own experience and practice.

For example, you start arguing with someone and lose your temper, “heating up” like a boiling kettle.

Even if you weren't the one who initiated the conflict, but you feel that the management of emotions is getting out of control, just stop, leave the room, take a break from communication. After a few minutes you will understand how it was the right decision. Thanks to a simple effort of will, you will be able to save the nerves of yourself and your loved ones, and, in the end, just remain friends.

2. Don't make excuses.

Many overly emotional people (especially women) who do not know how to control their emotions often justify their behavior with anything - bad weather, temperament, creative nature, hormonal changes, etc. Of course, external factors have an influence on our psychological state, but not so much that it cannot be kept under supervision.

Start taking responsibility for your actions and learn to control your emotions.

3. Beware of sudden emotional outbursts.

We live in an interesting time, when entertainment and sensations that previously could only be dreamed of have become available. Cinemas with the effect of full presence and immersion in virtual reality, action attractions, incredible slides - all this can cause a violent outburst of emotions. At first, it looks like euphoria, from which we feel good, but then people with not quite a stable psyche can observe side effects such as increased heart rate, sweating, nausea, fear, etc. Therefore, before attending such events, it is important to learn how to restrain your emotions and not take risks once again.

4. Do breathing exercises.

For those who wish to know how to learn to control their emotions, it is important to pay attention to their breathing. We are not talking about some strange techniques, but about the natural process of saturating the brain with oxygen. As soon as you feel it, practice the following exercise: close your eyes and slowly take a deep breath through your nose. Holding your breath for a couple of seconds, slowly exhale through your mouth, and do the same steps 8-10 times. After the exercise, you will notice a surge of vivacity and emotional balance.

5. Choose a quiet social circle.

Those who communicate with people who have a calm, accommodating character are less likely to wonder how to learn to control their emotions. The principle is relevant here: do not piss me off, and you yourself will be better off. The less you will be provoked into conflicts and disputes, the easier it will be to manage emotions. No emotion, no problem. However, it is not a fact that constantly being only in such an environment, the development of self-control will be successful, because outside the usual calm social circle, any stress can cause an uncontrollable flow of emotions.

6. Focus on solving the problem.

Most arise out of confusion and panic, as a reaction to a problem that has risen above us like an unbreakable rock. But any problem can be perceived from the other side - as a challenge, a certain task that we need to solve using all our ingenuity and Creative skills. Whatever happens, control and self-control is always important. Pull yourself together and say out loud: there are no unsolvable situations, I can handle it, and I will do it in the best way!

- it integral part of human nature, they are what make us human, show that we have feelings.

Most importantly, they can determine how a person feels at the moment.

But not always an emotional expression is a plus. You need to be able to control your emotions and feelings. Let's find out how to do it.

An unemotional person: why is he like that? Learn about it from ours.

Ability to control yourself

Why doesn't everyone have the ability to control their emotions?

Every person has emotions and feelings. They are of two types: positive and negative.

But it is not always necessary to express them vehemently and vividly, even positive ones, not to mention the second kind. Sometimes it's inappropriate, this can be bad for relationships, work, etc.

Therefore, it is important to learn to control yourself and manage your emotions. But as practice shows, this is not so easy to do.

Not everyone can brag impeccable self-control and complete control over the situation. After all, we are all different and our reactions are also different. Not everyone can immediately pull themselves together and hide what they feel at the moment.

But you need to not only learn how to mask and restrain emotions, but also not to take it out on others.

To achieve a result, it is worth practicing special techniques that will help even someone who, as they say, has "it's written on the face".

Emotional regulation of behavior - what is it?

What is this concept in psychology?

Our emotions drive us to certain pattern of behavior.

Everyone has different emotions can manifest themselves in different ways, but the meaning remains the same.

This or that emotion will be similarly expressed in everyone. This is called a form of behavior.

Behavior regulation comes from emotions, but at the same time, it exists in opposition to those same emotions. All volitional acts are performed in spite of human emotions, all actions are done in spite of any feelings and sensations.

The lower the level of this self-regulation in a person, the more his emotions will take over him. That is, emotional regulation of behavior is the ability to control oneself, no matter what.

How to learn to restrain your emotions and feelings?

To learn to control your emotions and feelings, you need to master certain techniques that with regular training will give a positive result.

Anger considered the strongest human emotion, it destroys everything in its path. Anger destroys a person not only from the inside, but can also harm relationships with others.

But you can control your emotions if you know how.

Methods and techniques for self-regulation of the state

We are all human and we all have emotions. But sometimes these emotions are much make life difficult for us.

You can’t hold back your feelings all the time, the accumulation of negative emotions is fraught with bad consequences not only for health, but also for loved ones.

For example, if every time someone at work causes a continuous negative, it accumulates and one day the anger turns into real anger, which is not very good. Also, a person who is in constant tension, can break out on loved ones.

So that negative emotions do not greatly affect life, you need to learn to see them, and then live them wisely and let them go so that they do not carry anything bad in your life and are not displayed on relationships and health.

You can’t “swallow” everything that makes you unhappy, that. Therefore, it is important to learn self-regulation.

This will help certain methods that are aimed directly at ensuring that a person I learned to control my emotional state.

training

Now there is a wide variety of lectures, trainings and seminars which are aimed at self-regulation of the emotional state.

Such events are usually carried out by people who have a positive experience in this matter. Different trainings may have a different program, it all depends on the person who conducts it.

But they have one common goal- teach the audience to independently control their emotions, to manage them correctly.

Usually the training begins with an introduction, it can be a small lecture, voicing the main questions that need to be answered. Then everyone gets to know each other, introduce themselves, can even talk about their problem and how it interferes with their lives.

It is filled with various games, which will help people practice in controlling their emotional state.

During practice, all participants can be divided into several teams, if conditions so require.

Emotion management techniques

Some people find it very difficult to contain their emotions or even manage them properly. But you have to do it because not everyone likes excessive emotionality.

Often, people who find it difficult to control their emotions have a difficult time in a team, especially for those whose work is closely related to society.

This activity requires a lot of emotional input. But feelings are not always positive, so it is advisable to keep the extra negative to yourself and not demonstrate it.

How to control yourself at the right time?

At the level of the body

At the level of consciousness

The most effective way is to "pause the conversation." If there are feelings of irritation, anger, anger, etc., then the best option would be to simply ask to postpone the conversation for a while.

Thus, you can buy time for yourself to think things over carefully and find the right words.

Application of imagination

Techniques that use the imagination:

Our imagination is considered a pretty powerful weapon in the fight against the control of emotions, it gives unlimited space:

External control

There are situations when feelings just go wild and it becomes difficult to contain them.

If there is a piece of paper at hand, then you can tear it into small pieces, squeeze or crumple, in general, do what calms you.

If it is not possible to do this manipulation, then you can draw some abstract drawings in a notebook, while trying to apply pressure on the pen / pencil as much as possible. Just try to do it as discreetly as possible for your interlocutor.

Maybe, you can be comforted by what you love. For example, you can drink your favorite drink, eat a snack or listen to music. In general, do what makes you a little bit, which always does.

Exercises

During unpleasant situations, a person usually has “written on his face” his attitude to the circumstances.

It is known that emotional and physical state are interconnected. Therefore, it is worth controlling both.

If it is difficult to control your emotional state, then this can be easily learned. A number of special techniques and exercises will help each person to be more restrained in their emotions or vice versa to show them more.

How to learn to control emotions and not succumb to provocations:

Imagine your usual morning. You wake up, looking at the clock hands with displeasure. Then, enjoying the first cup of morning coffee, you think that everything is not so bad. Burning with impotent rage, hitting a traffic jam. Rejoice in the praise of your boss. Get upset when you hear bad news. Just one morning, and the contrast of emotions that we experience at the same time can be similar to a rapidly swinging swing.

Emotions are an integral part of our life. Whether we like it or not, it is human nature that what surrounds us causes an emotional reaction in us. As a rule, this reaction follows immediately after the event, so strong emotions are often called "outbursts", and they can be both positive and sharply negative. How do these reactions affect us? Harm in them or benefit? And why do we need emotions?

talking scientific language, emotion is a state associated with an assessment of the significance for a person of the factors acting on him. But this does not mean that all the objects and events surrounding us can cause a vivid reaction, but only those that are related to our needs and interests. The mechanism of the emergence of emotions is as old as humanity itself. And nothing more than emotions are the mechanism for regulating the relationship of a person with the outside world. The basic reactions experienced by man are practically the same as those experienced by prehistoric people.

In fact, no matter how complex our emotions may seem to us, they can all be reduced to three simple pairs of experiences, namely:

• "pleasure - displeasure";
• "voltage - resolution";
• "excitement - calm."

Each of us must have noticed how differently we can react to significant events. Something causes us excitement, cheerfulness, or, on the contrary, anger or hatred. In this case, as if something is pushing us to take immediate action, we cannot be silent and behave calmly. Other events and phenomena, on the contrary, seem to paralyze us, we find ourselves in the role of a passive contemplator, as if our strength is leaving us. Thus, we can conclude that different emotions can both give us energy and take it away.

If we didn't feel emotions

There is an opinion that the more emotional we are, the more problems we create for ourselves. However, would we get rid of problems if we did not experience emotions at all? Let's consider such a hypothetical situation. We have on the way, for example, an angry bull. The natural emotion in this case is fear. Fear will trigger instant actions that will allow us to avoid this danger. The absence of fear can have very deplorable consequences here. And it turns out that the right emotions are in the right place and in right time, will become for us both a protective reaction, and a call to action, and a way to activate energy.

Fortunately, it is not often that we have to face such an obvious danger. But if you think about it, our reaction to phenomena of little significance can be exaggerated, and the consequences of this are completely unpredictable. Remember how many times you "in your hearts" could say too much to your relatives, superiors, colleagues. A person who knows how to control our emotions can easily manipulate us, and this is an even greater danger. It turns out that it is important not only to experience emotions, but also to be able to control them and sometimes restrain them.

But there is one very important point in this process. Do not confuse the control of their emotions with suppression.

Managing and suppressing emotions - what's the difference?

Sigmund Freud, who needs no introduction, said: “Unfortunately, repressed emotions do not die. They were made to shut up. And they continue to influence a person from within.” The consequences of such an influence, alas, are far from positive. We often carry the negativity out of these depressed states into other areas of our lives. We can lash out at our children, wife, husband, stranger, simply because we suppressed anger at the moment when circumstances did not allow us to throw it out. Knowing how to manage emotions, we could transform negative energy into positive, or at least neutral. But, as you can see, the suppressed energy will sooner or later find a way out ... And if so, let's learn to cope with our emotional states with as little harm as possible to yourself and others.

How to control your emotions

There are a large number of techniques that will help you cope with your emotions, help you learn how to learn how to express your feelings. Sometimes we need to hide how we really feel for various reasons. Observance of subordination, good manners, general cultural norms dictate a certain model of behavior to us, which sometimes goes against what we actually feel. Sometimes too strong a reaction does not allow us to convey to the interlocutor what exactly we want to say, what feelings we are trying to express. And in this case, we need to pull ourselves together. Where should you start, so as not to succumb to your own emotions, but to benefit from them?

Exercises for controlling emotions in psychology

Of course, this will require our efforts. But the result of this work will be the control of emotions and self-control in any life situation.

Everyone knows that a good mood in the morning can, as they say, make the whole day. Give yourself at least a few minutes after waking up, stay in a calm environment, drive away thoughts of all problems, think about the good that the coming day can bring you. Do not watch the news, do not cling to relatives. Remember that their day starts now and they don't need to ruin it at all.

A very simple but very effective remedy is a smile. And the first person you smile at is yourself. Stand in front of a mirror. Take a few deep breaths, look at yourself and smile from the bottom of your heart, close person. Speak your favorite affirmations, find a reason to praise yourself now. No matter how banal this action may seem to you, it will definitely cheer you up, and this is the key to calmness and balance. Keep a smile on your face throughout this exercise, even if out of habit you want to stop doing it.

During the day, anything can happen to you, and the state of calmness achieved can easily collapse. We offer you simple steps to manage emotions. Another common truth is that laughter is the best medicine. It not only improves mood, but also the general tone of the whole organism. During laughter, the flow of oxygen to the brain increases, it begins to work more actively. Just a few minutes of sincere laughter can replace a couple of hours of rest. After such a beneficial effect, it will be much more difficult for negative emotions to get the better of us. Well, you can find a reason to laugh without much difficulty, at least remember a funny situation or an anecdote.

If your negative emotion is directed at a specific person, use your imagination. Imagine him in a ridiculous costume, or without it at all, in a funny situation. Remember that if you laugh, it is already much more difficult to make you angry, positive emotions neutralize the effect of negative ones.

Another method is to mentally bring the situation to the point of absurdity. In this case, you need to become aware of your emotion, understand why you are experiencing it, and mentally develop this situation, preferably making unexpected funny conclusions, or imagining the most positive outcome. Of course, this approach will not solve the problem in any way, but our task at the moment - to avoid negative emotions - can be solved with minimal effort.

These simple techniques can be used as a means of emergency assistance when you need to take control of emotions here and now. But sometimes everything is much more complicated, and the technique in this case will require more serious.

Distance from emotion

A negative reaction can sometimes be so strong, so painful, that it can be detrimental to your mental and physical well-being. Such a factor can be, for example, a feeling of intense fear or irritation when something is out of your control. In this case, the ability to look at everything as if from the outside will help you. Be aware of your emotion, say to yourself: “I am angry (angry, annoyed) because ...”. Find the cause of this feeling and imagine that you are observing yourself, seeing how emotions affect you. The role of an outside observer will help you focus not on the irritant, but on yourself, on your own reaction, on awareness of it and its consequences. The very awareness and statement of emotion will help to find the fastest way to eliminate it. Your focus on observation will help to disengage from unpleasant sensations and feelings. Maintaining balance and self-control will become a familiar and very easy practice for you if you practice a little at every opportunity.

Switching attention

It is very difficult to control your thoughts, and in fact they often become the source of many of our negative emotions. It is useless to force yourself not to think about the bad. The more we try to suppress these thoughts in ourselves, the more they grow in us. In a psychology class, a teacher once asked his students, no matter what they did for the next five minutes, not to think about the green monkey. And if they still think, give a sign by clapping your hands. For the next five minutes there was nothing but applause. It is necessary to be able to switch attention so that the new activity captures you completely, not allowing evil thoughts to sprout like weeds in your mind. Favorite hobby, funny comedy, music, walking. Any person has such “magic wands” that can switch you to a completely different wave. Use them whenever the need arises.

Autotraining for relaxation

The ability to relax will be an excellent means of controlling emotions for you. The modern rhythm of life requires more and more stress from us every day, we get tired more and more, we live on the limit. But all these factors will have less effect on you if you master a technique such as auto-training.

Autotraining- this is a way of self-regulation of your state, which resembles hypnosis, with the only difference being that it is not a psychologist or a hypnotist who plunges you into a trance state, but you yourself. In order for this practice to bring you maximum benefit, you need to conduct it regularly, following all its stages consistently.

The first stage is relaxation. Take a comfortable position, sitting or lying down. The main thing is that in this position you can achieve maximum relaxation of all muscles. Take care of comfortable clothes, in a quiet, calm environment, eliminate all potential irritants for the time of auto-training. You can turn on quiet music for meditation, but only if it does not distract you from experiencing your own states. Focus on your breathing. It should be deep and even. Mentally watch as the air fills and leaves your lungs. Imagine every cell in your body relaxing, from your fingertips to the top of your head. When you feel a pleasant heaviness of the whole body, you can proceed to the next step.

The second stage is suggestion. For this stage, you will need to prepare in advance. Think or select from the relevant literature a positive attitude that suits your needs. Avoid negative constructions, the installation must be completely positive. Don't use "I will try", "I will try" phrases, only statements like "I will", "I can", "I will achieve". Say these phrases to yourself several times, as if scrolling through the same record. Visualization will be very effective at this stage. The more vividly you present a picture of what you are striving for, the more firmly it will be imprinted in your subconscious.

Examples of settings for auto-training:

1. I am calm and balanced. I am able to fully control my emotions.
2. All problems remain in the past. In my life there is only room for success.
3. My business is getting better every day.

It will be better if you compose such phrases yourself, in your usual language. In this case, their perception will be stronger.

The third stage is the exit from auto-training. Don't do it abruptly. Gradually begin to focus on the sensations of your body, move your fingers slightly, stretch. You can start the countdown from 10 to 1 by mentally telling yourself that on the count of "one" you will come out of relaxation refreshed and refreshed. If you're doing this before bed, change the wording to "on the count of one, I'll fall asleep and wake up light, well-rested, and energized in the morning."

This technique will help you, but only if you use it regularly and not occasionally.

When emotions need to be contained

We have already dealt with you that emotions will be with us, as part of our nature, regardless of our desire. We know how to restrain ourselves in emotions, not allowing circumstances to dictate to us how to act. In what situations is self-control especially important?

1. Family life. Very often it is our loved ones who become the target of our bad mood.
2. social situations. We lose our temper very easily. public transport, in a long line at the store, bank, post office. In this case, we splash out our irritation on people, thereby multiplying the negative. Stay away from emotions in this case, do not take everything to heart.
3. Job. She takes most our lives, so we inevitably face numerous problems that cause stress. Find the opportunity to relax for a few minutes and do not allow negative influences.

Remember that by managing emotions, you make your life brighter and more fulfilling, free from negativity and its consequences. Good luck with your self-control techniques.