What helps with mental pain. How to get rid of mental pain

Every person knows this feeling of longing, sadness, despair, when obsessive negative thoughts overcome, and life seems like a hopeless existence, full of fear and hopelessness. To relieve physical suffering, it is enough to take painkillers and then consult a doctor. It is much more difficult to answer the question of how to cope with the pain of the soul, because scientists have not yet invented magic pills that can heal the wounds of the soul.

What is heartache

Mental pain, or suffering, is a severe psycho-emotional state which occurs as a result of the inability to satisfy the most important vital needs of a person. Most often the strongest soul feelings come after a loss, whether it be death or parting with a loved one, loss of a job, financial position, social status, or even a loved one. Sometimes the soul hurts because of the inability to get what you want.

Any situation that unsettles, has one or another traumatic effect. Loss can be experienced for years, and forever remain a bleeding heart wound. A person can completely lose the meaning of life, as people say, put an end to himself. This condition can lead to sad consequences - drug, alcohol addiction, prolonged depression and even suicide.

How to deal with emotional pain

Mental trauma leaves terrible traces in the human psyche. Even seemingly minor grievances can cause great harm if they "step on a sore spot": affect the psychological trauma received in childhood, or bring up memories of tragic events that happened earlier. best advice how to cope with the pain of the soul that painful memories cause - to heal the trauma once received. This process is not fast, it requires serious efforts and the help of a professional psychologist.

It is worth learning to treat your mental health with the same attention as your physical health. It is best to start healing mental wounds, as well as bodily ones, as early as possible. If something terrible happened in life, you need to make every effort to survive the grief correctly.

No need to suffer in silence, gritting your teeth. Perhaps in films and novels such heroes look incredibly courageous, but in real life unexperienced suffering remains a thorn in the soul and continues to boil for the rest of one's life, poisoning the soul and body and leading to illness and aggression. Feelings must be extracted from oneself by any means. Give vent to tears, confess to a priest, speak out in a psychologist's office, cry on the shoulder of a friend.

An excellent method of self-help is pysanka. Its essence lies in throwing out all your experiences on paper, reaching the most secret thoughts. Pysanka helps to “give away” the pain, to decompose it into its components, to understand the hidden motives of one’s actions, to understand the most painful issues. Information on how to write Easter eggs correctly can be found on the Internet.

After strong emotions slowly begin to weaken, you need to give yourself nourishment, an opportunity to recover. To do this, you will have to learn how to get rid of the past, start living here and now. There are excellent and very simple techniques to help you focus on the present. To return to the “now”, it is enough to stop the mental flow even for a moment, look around, see how amazing the world how sweetly the birds sing and how beautiful the sky is at sunset. Such simple exercises help to realize the value of life and show an alternative to depressive states, not allowing them to take over the mind.

The process of recovery is to find in the tragic situation that happened a resource for later life. Properly experienced suffering helps to gain invaluable experience and become a good help for new achievements. Remember, whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger!

There is simple ways relieve the painful condition and look at life from its good side. If the injury is not deep, it is enough to follow these tips to restore peace of mind. Serious emotional experiences cannot be ignored, they need to be treated with the help of a specialist psychologist. In this case, the advice will be a good support for therapy.

1. Take care of yourself. Find new interests and hobbies. Spend more time outdoors, go to nature, walk in the parks. Get enough sleep.
2. Take care of your body. A great way to relieve pain is relaxing massage, sauna, spa treatments. In addition to pleasant sensations, these procedures have a beneficial effect on the body, help to relieve tension and relax, and the body, as you know, is closely related to the mental state.
3. Go in for sports. During physical activity, endorphins are produced in the body, which are responsible for the body's resistance to stress and disease and improve mood.
4. Learn to stop the flow of intrusive thoughts. In this case, meditation, yoga, breathing exercises are indispensable.
5. Look for the positive in everything. As you know, there is a blessing in disguise, and the most hopeless situations can turn into unexpectedly happy consequences. Of course, it is blasphemous to seek joy in death. loved one, but in all other cases there will definitely be positive moments that will open up new opportunities or at least give a reason to smile.
6. Don't close in on yourself and your pain. Do not turn your pain into the meaning of life and into an eternally bleeding wound. Learn to ask for help. Try to communicate with kind and bright people. If the trauma is deep, work with psychologists, join support groups.
7. Work on yourself. Suffering is a reason to think about your existence and about the soul. Realizing its underlying causes, you can understand what exactly led to such consequences, and correct your mistakes. Life is just beginning!

Video: Advice from Alex Yanovsky "What to do if you are in pain"

Life is impossible to live without tragedies and troubles. Suffering leaves its mark on the human soul. But if you learn to experience mental pain correctly, these scars will become a reminder of the experience gained and serve as a lesson on how to overcome adversity and emerge victorious from them.

Man is a sensual, emotional being. We all experience negative feelings from time to time. We can feel the most severe emotional pain after parting with dear people or losing something very important and significant. We are all different and everyone experiences these circumstances in their own way. Some can quickly restore peace of mind and forget about traumatic events; others suffer for a long time and find it difficult to find the strength to live on. A protracted experience can develop into depression, and then it will be even more difficult for a person to “get out” of a depressed state. Healing spiritual wounds sometimes requires some effort and conscious work on oneself.

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Psychologists give some effective tips on how to get rid of heartache on one's own. They may seem banal, but do not be skeptical of the recommendations. Unfortunately, many are waiting for a miracle that circumstances suddenly change dramatically in an instant and feel better at heart. And there are people who believe that they must be saved by another person. But do not shift the responsibility for your condition to others. No matter how difficult and difficult, you need to make every effort and try to help yourself on your own.

The biggest mistake that many people make is an attempt to suppress all negative feelings in themselves and smile through force. It has long been known that all suppressed emotions do not really go anywhere. They remain energy blocks in the body, creating tension, provoking illness and weakening the nervous system.

Do not try to build a strong and imperturbable person out of yourself when the soul screams and cries. Accept your pain and understand that we are all human and we tend to experience moments of weakness. Allow yourself to be sometimes a weak, wounded person. Let the emotions come out.

You don't have to take it out on other people. But allowing yourself to cry from the heart is a useful thing. If you could not express your resentment to the departed person, do it in a different way - say everything in water, in a pillow, or write it out on paper. Do not limit yourself in words and phrases, express everything that is inside you. You will immediately feel how relieved you are. Of course, it is best to do such things alone when no one is at home. If you feel the need, repeat the steps.

2. Do not withdraw into yourself, communicate with loved ones

Every person has moments in his life when he does not want to communicate with anyone, even with those closest to him. But we are born in a social world and we need communication. If you have friends, family, or even just good buddies, don't limit yourself from supporting them. You don't have to tell other people what's on your mind. Although, sometimes it is also a great way to relieve emotional stress and reduce pain. Just don't be alone. Arrange gatherings with friends, go to a cafe or chat with a loved one in the kitchen over a cup of tea. Accept support if someone around you wants to help you.

3. Realize - nothing in this world lasts forever, including heartache

"This too shall pass" - such an inscription was on the ring of King Solomon. As the legend goes, he received the ring as a gift at a young age. The king had to go through many difficult moments and the inscription on the ring helped him realize that even the most difficult periods do not last forever. Life is very fluid, everything changes every second. The person who was yesterday is no longer the same as today. Neither joy nor sadness can last forever.

It is human nature to prolong their suffering, fixating on the past, on memories, on their mental pain.

Try to remember others unpleasant moments from your life that no longer evoke any emotions in you, and before that you worried about them for a long time. Realize that at that moment it also seemed to you that the world had collapsed. But everything has passed and no longer shakes you. In the same way, the pain that you are experiencing now will also pass. Will definitely pass.

4. Learn to control your thoughts

Our brain is so arranged that it does not distinguish between reality and fantasy at all. He reacts to all the mental images that float in your mind as if everything is really happening. That is why thoughts and imaginary pictures can evoke real feelings and emotions in us.

But the upside is that we are able to control the thought process. Accordingly, you should try to keep only good memories and good thoughts in your head. And if negative thoughts arise, do not focus on them.

Also, physical activities, unusual actions, for example, a walk in an unfamiliar part of the city or cooking an unusual dish, help to distract from painful memories and thoughts.

5. Change the environment around you

Unfortunately, this advice is not for everyone. Not every person lives in conditions that allow changing the situation. If your heartache is related to breaking up with a loved one, try to get rid of all the things that most remind you of him. Remove all photos, objects from your eyes, erase your phone number and contacts on social networks.

If possible, rearrange the house, replace textiles and interior items. If you live in a rented apartment, it may be worth moving to another one.

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Do not be discouraged if, for one reason or another, you cannot change the space around you. In this case, try to be at home less often for the first time - go to visit, walk, stay with friends or relatives for a week or two.

6. Make an entertainment plan for yourself

In a state of acute mental pain, you do not want anything. Interest in many things disappears, there is no desire to have fun and have fun. A person simply cannot do this when he is very bad emotionally.

It is important to understand here that the longer you revel in grief, the faster you will fall into this abyss of suffering and mental anguish. You need to try, even if through force, to distract yourself.

Surely there are many things that you like and enjoy. Remember what you have not done for a long time and where you would like to go, what to do. It does not matter at all what it will be - going to the movies or skydiving. There are a lot of interesting things in the world that are worth trying. Make a plan by choosing at least one entertainment event per week. Connect friends or relatives to this, they will surely be happy to keep you company. You will definitely notice how new positive emotions will gradually begin to displace mental pain and allow you to get rid of it.

7. Set a goal

Sometimes we become so strongly and deeply immersed in the people we love that all our dreams, plans and goals become connected to them. And when a loved one suddenly leaves, we are left in complete confusion and emptiness. It seems that life loses all meaning.

But if you stop identifying yourself with another person, and remember that you came to this Earth alone and once had your own, unrelated dreams, it will become easier. Maybe not right away, but you will feel that you still have desires. Choose for yourself the most attractive of them and set yourself a deadline for implementation. Goals do not have to be global. It could be buying a new car, or it could be learning how to cross-stitch. Move towards this goal, its achievement will bring you joy.

8. Change something in appearance

This advice is more focused on women. Although men may well change their style. When parting with something or someone important, it is useful to change yourself a little. How to show yourself and the world that the old is gone and has come new stage in your life.

You can change anything - hair color, haircut, makeup style, clothes. People with higher willpower can make changes in their figure - lose weight, pump up. Psychologists note that such changes have a very positive effect on mood.

9. Do something you couldn't afford before.

Relations with loved ones require compromises, concessions, some sacrifices. It is perfectly normal when we consciously go to reasonable limits for the sake of those who are dear to us.

Remember that you could not afford before the loss, but you really wanted it. Maybe a loved one forbade you to have parties at home, or perhaps you wanted to go on vacation "savages" at least once. Just do what you forbade yourself and try to get as much pleasure from it as possible.

10. Grow

If a person stops in his development, ceases to be interested in new things and learn something, he gradually degrades. Find yourself a new hobby, read good and wise books, sign up for some courses or trainings, improve your skills in the professional field. This will not only contribute to your development, but also distract from sadness and longing. Such activities will also increase your self-esteem, which will positively affect your mood.

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Whatever happens in your life, remember that everything depends on you. A person has great potential and is able to cope with difficult circumstances. If you can’t get out of a depressed state and mental pain on your own, seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist.

Sometimes we love a person so much that it leaves deep wounds in our soul. The pain of being rejected is nothing less than the physical pain. And it doesn't really matter if your boyfriend suggested breaking up after a long relationship, or if a new acquaintance refused to go on a date with you. Healing spiritual wounds is a very long process, but you need to gather your strength and go on a long journey to a renewed self.

Steps

Part 1

Give yourself time

1. Allow yourself to feel sadness. Heart wounds are always painful. You cannot ignore the fact that your experiences are causing you pain. This means that you must give yourself time to process the emotions that come with the pain. With these feelings, your brain is literally telling you how badly what happened hurt you. There is no need to artificially suppress these emotions in yourself.

   • Create a healing space. You need time and space to process your emotions and give vent to your bitter feelings. When you feel emotional pain, try to find a quiet place where you can cope with the wave of emotions that overwhelmed you. Sometimes it’s enough to go for a walk, retire to your room or just make yourself a cup of aromatic tea.
   • When a person experiences mental pain, he goes through certain stages of this process, during which he experiences such feelings as anger, pain, grief, anxiety, fear and acceptance of what happened. Sometimes you may feel like you are literally drowning in your own emotions, but if you can determine exactly how you go through each stage of the experience, this will help you experience the healing process easier and a little faster.
   • Try not to drown in your despair. There is a clear difference between simply giving yourself time to process your emotions and being completely overwhelmed by them. If you find yourself staying home for weeks, forgetting to take a shower, and life seems meaningless to you, you should seek professional psychological help as soon as possible. These are signs that the grief process is too difficult for you to handle on your own.

2. Live for today. If you want to deal with all emotions at once and get rid of heartache immediately, you are probably setting yourself an impossible task. Instead, move from one stage to the next gradually, and always live for today.

   • A good way to focus on a particular moment in your life is to try to live for today. When you catch yourself on the fact that your thoughts again and again return to the past, stop yourself. Look around: what do you see now? what smell do you smell? What color is the sky above your head? what are your fingers touching? and the wind blows in your face?
   • Don't start coming up with a grand plan to get over the person who broke your heart. On the contrary, if you focus on how to deal with your grief, it will happen by itself.

3. Indifference. When a relationship ends or you are rejected, you will probably feel like there is a huge hole inside of you all of a sudden. A huge black hole that consumes all the happiness from your life. At this point, many people make the mistake of trying to immediately fill this hole with something, because they are unable to bear this painful sensation. Yes, this feeling causes you great pain, and you have the right to feel empty inside.

   • Create a space for yourself where your ex isn't. Delete his phone number and you won't be able to text him when you've had too much to drink. Put him on the "black list" in all social networks, otherwise you will find out at one point that you are looking at new photos in his account all night long. Don't ask mutual friends how your ex is doing. The more clearly you understand that the breakup has finally occurred, the easier it will be for you to heal after it.
   • Don't try to immediately fill the void left by broken love. This is one of the most common mistakes people make when trying to heal their emotional wounds. When you try to immediately start a new relationship in order to stop feeling pain and fill the void left by the previous feeling, it does not really help you go through the necessary stages of coping with the loss. Your unlived negative feelings will return to you sooner or later, but they will become even stronger and more painful.

4. Tell about it. You need to make sure you have reliable support to deal with the pain. The solid support of your friends and family, and even your therapist, will get you back on your feet sooner than anything else. Of course, close people will not fill the void that a loved one has left in your soul, but they can help you deal with this void better.

   • Find a close friend or relative with whom you can talk about your feelings, especially on long, lonely evenings. Try to find a person, or several people, who can give you emotional support to make up for the loss of support you received from your partner in an ending relationship. Ask your friends for permission to call them every time you feel an irresistible urge to talk to the person you are trying to get rid of feelings for now.
   • A diary can be incredibly helpful in this situation. This is not only a good way to let your feelings out, especially if you don't want to dump all the burden of your suffering on your friends, it is also an effective tool that allows you to evaluate the progress you have made. After rereading old records, you suddenly realize that now you are much less likely to think about your ex or notice that you want to go on dates again (Actually, and not just to “fill the void left inside left by broken love”).
   • Sometimes you may need to talk with a psychologist or psychotherapist. There is no shame in seeking professional help!

5. Get rid of things that trigger memories. If you are constantly bumping into objects that evoke memories of past love, it will only slow down your healing process. Don't keep old house pants that your ex used to wear after work in the closet, get rid of this stuff.

   • There is no need to ritually burn everything that reminds you of past relationships, especially if these things can be given to people who need them. But you absolutely must remove these things from your life, one way or another. Also, depending on how bad your breakup was, the ritual burning of things can unleash a flurry of feelings that were previously locked in your heart.
   • Take a thing and try to remember what exactly you associate with it. Then imagine that you have placed these memories in a balloon. When you get rid of the thing, imagine that the ball flies far, far away and will never bother you again.
   • If you still have valuables in good condition, you can donate them to charity. In this case, you can imagine how much joy this thing will bring to the new owner.

6. Help other people. If you start helping others, especially those who are experiencing the same feelings as you, you can take your mind off your own experiences. It also means that you are not drowning in your own suffering and self-pity.

   • Take the time to listen to your friends and help them if they are having difficulty. Don't just focus on your own heartache. Tell your friends that they can always count on you to listen and help if they need it.
   • Get involved in volunteer work. Find a job at a homeless shelter or charity canteen. Offer your help at rehabilitation centers or animal shelters.

7. Give free rein to your imagination. You will imagine how your ex came back to you and talks about how stupid he was for letting you leave. You can imagine in detail how you hug and kiss this person, imagine in detail your intimacy. Such fantasies are completely normal.

   • The more you try to stop your imagination, the more often such thoughts will come to your mind. When you try not to think about something, especially if you have imposed this severe restriction on yourself, in fact, you think only about it all the time.
   • Set aside special times when you allow yourself to fantasize, so you don't spend all your time in an imaginary world. For example, you can give yourself 15 minutes a day to think about how your ex wants to be with you again. If these thoughts occur to you at another time, put them aside until the time slot for fantasy comes. You don't refuse to think about it, you just put it off until later.

   Part 2

   Beginning the healing process

   1. Avoid anything that triggers memories. If you have already gotten rid of all the things that trigger memories, as described in the first part of the article, this will help you avoid such moments. However, there are other things that you should keep in mind. Of course, you won't be able to avoid them completely, but at least try not to specifically look for them. This will help you recover faster.

      • The reason could be anything from the song that played on your first date to the little coffee shop where you spent so much time together studying for your exams. It might even be a smell.
      • You may encounter this even when you don't expect it at all. If this happened, determine what exactly triggered your memories, and what kind of memories this factor caused. Then try to switch to something else. No need to linger on these feelings and memories. For example, when you stumble across a photo of yourself on Facebook, admit to yourself that you feel sad and sorry about it, and then try to think of something good, or at least neutral. You might think about a new dress you will wear tomorrow, or that it would be nice to have a kitten.
      • This does not mean that you should do your best to avoid such moments that provoke memories. You won't be able to do this. All you have to do is just try to avoid the things that hurt you and make you regret the past as little as possible. You need your spiritual wounds to heal.

   2. Good music will help you heal faster. It has been proven that music can have a therapeutic effect and help speed up the healing process. Listen to upbeat, energetic songs. Scientific research showed that when you listen to such music, endorphins are released in your body, which help you perk up and overcome stress.

      • Try not to include sentimental, romantic songs about love. This kind of music will not help release endophins in your brain. On the contrary, such songs will only increase your sadness and disturb your spiritual wounds.
      • When you find that sad feelings are flooding back into you, it's time to turn on energetic music to perk up. If you turn on dance music, you can get endorphins from listening to upbeat music and energetic dance moves at the same time.

   3. Take a break from heartache. After you have passed the initial stage, when you gave yourself the opportunity to grieve and cope with your emotions, it is time to take your mind off the unpleasant thoughts. When you start thinking about your ex, do something, try to switch your thoughts to something else, come up with some new activity for yourself, etc.

      • Call those friends who said you can always count on them if you need help. Read the book you've been wanting to read for a long time. Put on some hilarious comedy (and get an added bonus because laughter helps you get well).
      • The more you do to not think about the past and about your mental suffering, the faster you will feel better. Of course it's difficult. It is very difficult to control your thoughts all the time and keep track of how much time you spend thinking about your heartache.
      • Try not to get carried away with "painkillers." It may be something that allows you to stop feeling pain for a while. Sometimes you really need something to give yourself a break from the heartache. However, be careful that these distractions don't hurt you, especially in the beginning when you need to learn how to deal with negative experiences. This "pain reliever" can be alcohol or drugs, but it can also be continuous TV viewing or a constant presence on the Internet. Or even the food you eat just to feel calmer.

   4. Change your lifestyle. One of the problems that you face is that the habitual way of life that was formed when you were together was suddenly destroyed. If you start doing something new and change your habitual lifestyle, this will open the door to new habits. There will be no place in your new life for the person who broke your heart.

      • You don't need to drastically change your life to get rid of old habits. Do simple things like go shopping on Saturday morning instead of lying in bed; try listening to a new style of music, or discover a new hobby like karate or flower gardening.
      • Try not to make radical changes in your life before you have carefully weighed the pros and cons. Especially try to avoid drastic changes at the beginning, immediately after the breakup. If enough time has passed and you want to show that you are really changing, then it's time to get something like a new tattoo or shave your hair bald.
      • If you have the opportunity to take a short vacation, go on a trip. Even if you take a weekend trip to some new city for you, it will help you take a fresh look at what happened.

   5. Don't interfere with your own healing. Of course, there are relapses from time to time when you're trying to bounce back from a failed relationship. This is normal, this is also part of the healing process. But there are some things that you can foresee and thereby prevent them from throwing you back in your movement towards a new life.

      • Pay attention to the words you usually use. When you say "Awesome!" or "Terrible" or "Nightmare!", you continue to see the world in black. This creates negative thinking. If you can't think positively, at least try to stick to neutral terms. For example, instead of saying, "It's over forever!", say, "This breakup was very painful for me, but I'll do my best to get through it."
      • Try not to embarrass yourself. You don't have to drive past your ex's house every night to see if he's found a date. Try not to call or text your ex while you're drinking. These things only keep you from moving forward.
      • Remember that everything changes in this world. Your feelings today will be very different in a week, a month or a year. We promise that there will come a time when you will be able to calmly remember this period of your life without experiencing pain.

   Part 3

   Accept what happened

   1. Stop blaming. An important part of your healing and acceptance of what happened is to understand that it is useless to blame yourself or another person. What happened happened, so you can no longer do or say something to change what happened, so what's the use of blaming.

      • Try to find good feelings towards the other person. No matter what he did or didn't do, try to find compassion in your heart for him and what is happening to him. This does not mean that you should immediately forgive him, it only means that you will stop being angry with the person.
      • On the other hand, don't blame yourself for everything. You can acknowledge and reflect on what exactly you did wrong in previous relationships and promise yourself that you won't repeat past mistakes in the future. But don't waste time reliving your own missteps over and over again.

   2. Feel when you are ready to move forward. It takes different times for people to heal from heartache. It is impossible to name a specific period of time that you will need, but there are signs by which you can determine that you are moving in the right direction.

      • You no longer worry if you find several missed calls from an unknown number on your phone.
      • You no longer visualize the scene that your ex comes back to you and begs you for forgiveness on his knees.
      • You no longer find associations with your life in films and songs about unhappy love. You notice that now you like to read and listen to things that have nothing to do with this topic.

   3. Try to understand who you really are. There is one thing that usually goes unnoticed during the time you are in a relationship with someone and during the first stage of grief after the end of that relationship. This is the ability to be yourself. For a long time you felt like a part of your couple, and then - someone who grieves for a lost relationship.

      • Work on your personal development, both external and internal. Go in for sports or change your appearance. These things are great for boosting self-esteem, which must have suffered during a breakup. Determine which personality traits you need to work on. For example, if you tend to be passive-aggressive when you're in a bad mood, try to work on finding more healthy ways show your anger.
      • Develop character traits that reflect your uniqueness. When you're spending all your time with another person or trying to deal with the aftermath of a breakup, you tend to pay less attention to your personal interests. Try to reconnect with the people you didn't have time to communicate with during the period of the relationship and after the breakup, and again do what you are really interested in.
      • Try something new. This can help you meet new people who have never met the person who broke your heart. Learning new things can help your brain take its mind off the heartache and start living in the present.

   4. Try not to go back to the past. You do not want to interfere with the process of healing from spiritual wounds, so do not do anything that will provoke your mental suffering again. Sometimes this cannot be completely avoided, but you can try to keep the risk to a minimum.

      • Don't let this person come into your life too soon, or at all. You will only inflame your own spiritual wounds and feel your unhappiness with the same sharpness. Sometimes it's impossible to be friends with an ex.
      • If you still did it, don't despair. The work that you have done to heal from spiritual wounds has not been in vain. You will still win. Do not give up. When it comes to relationships, everyone has experienced relapses of heartache in one way or another.

   5. Do what brings you joy. When you do something that brings you joy and happiness, you cause a rise in dopamine levels in the brain. This Chemical substance, which helps a person feel happy and deal with stress (its level can rise to a critical level after a breakup).

      • Do things that don't evoke memories of your past. Start doing something new or go back to the hobbies you gave up when you were in a relationship.
      • Learn to be happy. People are more willing to communicate with those who are happy, because happy people help others feel happy too. Of course, you can't force yourself to feel happy all the time, but try to do the things that bring you joy and live the life that makes you feel happy.
      • Reward yourself for every small victory. If you haven't thought about your ex all day, reward yourself with a delicious smoothie or a piece of cake.
   • Continue to love yourself, even if it seems like an impossible task. In the long run, this will make you stronger.
   • By helping other people, you help yourself. Let's people good advice and don't show negative feelings.
   • A good joke will make you laugh even in this difficult time. Even if it seems inappropriate for you to have fun at such a moment, laugh - and life will become a little happier!

   Warnings

   • Do not rely solely on our advice. If you feel that you have become worse, consider that you may need professional psychological help.
   • There is no need to hurt yourself, even if you feel like you have lost the love of your life.

Regular failures in the love field and prolonged absence career development, sad news about the loss of a loved one and oppressive loneliness are the prerequisites for the occurrence of severe pain in the depths of the soul. Such a phenomenon cannot be cured by taking an effective pill or mixture. The consciousness of a person who is in depression acquires a coma.

It will not be possible to diagnose the problem that has appeared, because no medicines have been found to treat the above symptoms in the 21st century. Soothing capsules and psychotropic drugs can aggravate the current situation, harming the consciousness damaged by grief and feelings. It is not surprising that people have a question: How to relieve severe mental pain? What is the best way to bring a loved one back to a fulfilling life? Where is the formula for success hidden? How to get rid of?

Mental pain appears in people who were not mentally prepared for the events that occurred. If you set yourself up in advance for various options for the development of the situation, then it will be much easier to realize a fait accompli

How to deal with emotional pain: a step-by-step guide to action

To solve the problem, it is recommended to contact a psychologist who correctly diagnoses the cause of spiritual experiences by offering his own method of healing. However, it also becomes possible to get rid of severe pain, which every minute absorbs the consciousness of a person. Most importantly, follow the simple sequence of actions recommended below:

• Find the cause of the emotional pain.
• Do not deny the existence of depression by accepting past events as an element of the past.
• Realize the magnitude of the situation.
• Decide on the consequences by projecting the most "terrible" picture of events.
• Compare the results obtained with the scale of the situation. Are the realities not so harsh?
• Change the familiar environment, gradually arousing interest in life in the mind.
• Get rid of the reminders of the past event by “opening” a new page of your own being.
• Enjoy the positive moments while avoiding the negative ones.
• Learn to live in a new format, becoming happy.

It is difficult only with the help of words and encouraging phrases. To restore mutual understanding with the damaged consciousness of a close friend and lover, you will have to be around regularly, restoring the lost trust. Remember that severe mental pain causes a state of apathy towards the world, aggression towards people, hatred for the events that have happened. Do not transfer this spectrum of emotions to yourself, because your loved one does not want to offend you - at this moment it is very difficult for him.

If you regularly train emotional stability, you can prevent the occurrence of mental pain. Rational perception of past events is a reliable base for a balanced and invulnerable person

Options for solving the problem at different ages

If you want to help a loved one get rid of mental pain, be sure to consider his age. At different intervals of life, the worldview of people has a distinct similarity, so the methods for solving the problem are identical:

• Age 5–10 years.

In children, spiritual experiences arise because of the unfulfilled promises of parents who did not fulfill the cherished dream of the child. Encouraging such a format of behavior is an inappropriate decision by adults, but you need to help the baby during such a period. To "free" the consciousness of the offspring from, an unplanned trip to the amusement park is enough. You can buy a young explorer who is exploring the world a portion of ice cream or a new toy - most importantly, a moment of surprise that causes positive emotions in the child.

• Age 10–18 years.

In such a period of time, mental pain becomes a consequence of the betrayal of a loved one or appears after a series of failures negatively perceived by peers. that take possession of the mind of a teenager, slow down the process of growing up, preventing the child from being realized in society. The only rational way out of this situation is to switch the attention of a person who is in adolescence to an exciting activity. A new social circle will allow a teenager to painlessly survive a depressive state.

• Age 18–30 years.

To restore emotional balance, you need to regularly be near an adult who is experiencing severe stress. At this age, depression appears after a failed love relationship that ended in divorce. Discord in the family, lack of communication with the child, dissatisfaction with the authorities, lack of funds - the reasons for the experiences are varied. However, the method of treatment is invariably the same - heart-to-heart talks and a reliable "shoulder" of support.

In an attempt to help, do not become a "hostage" of your own mercy, sharing the worldview of a person experiencing severe mental pain. You should listen, giving him the opportunity to speak out, but disagree, maintaining the format of depressive communication. Be there and prove your loyalty by restoring your loved one's faith in people and a brighter future.

Working with mental pain - recognizing the cause of mental pain, its prompt removal and prevention of a new occurrence of mental pain.

Attention - if someone has not just a mental pain, but a whole spiritual wound, then this article is not for him. A bruise can be treated at home, and wounds are treated in a hospital. If you have something serious, do not self-medicate, go to a specialist.

Also consider what people call mental pain, often turns out to be something completely different. For example, restrained anger, unlived resentment, deep fear. And sometimes - just a notion and fantasy from nothing to do and to attract the attention of others. To deal with this, sometimes you need a psychologist or a psychotherapist.

Also, if behind the heartache there is a feeling of resentment, revenge and others that have an internal conditional benefit, then in this case, removing the heartache is the same as scooping water out of a leaky boat when water is poured into it again and again. If a person over and over again recreates his emotional pain with offensive memories, it is useless to relieve pain, first you need to stop creating it for yourself.

Mental pain can be created not only by the person himself, having conditional benefits, sometimes it is created by the people around him, consciously or not hitting your pain points. In this case, perhaps you should reconsider your relationship with these people, or simply leave the situation where you are hit on sore points.

If there is pain in the soul, you have two tasks: to dampen the pain and remove the cause of the pain. Sometimes one is relevant, sometimes another.

If you have a toothache, you should not eat Nurafen, but go to the dentist. If you have a nail in the sole of your shoe, then you need not to relieve the pain, but remove the nail.

If mental pain is caused by actual events (someone's actions, disagreements, difficult conversations or conflicts), then the main focus should be on eliminating the real causes, and not psychological or psychotherapeutic work with pain. If over and over again you arrange problems for yourself in relationships, meet with the wrong people and arrange problems for yourself out of the blue, then you need not to take off your mental pain, but to straighten your head. The first focus is on eliminating the causes.

It’s another matter if the situation has already happened, gone, but the mental pain remains and greatly interferes. Everything is clear, but the soul still hurts. It is clear that it will pass, but is it possible to do something so that now it does not hurt so much and passes faster? Yes, you can. Not long-standing mental pain is removed, as a rule, by rethinking the situation that has occurred or by relieving muscle tension and clamps.

Pay attention - the body is the main carrier of mental pain: muscle tension and clamps.

And in simple cases, mental pain can often be removed by fairly simple, "home" remedies. If you have just received a "hit from life" - unexpected difficult news, or you have been hit with a phrase in a difficult conversation - breath control helps. The clamp is formed when you freeze, when the diaphragm tightens. To prevent this from happening, watch your breathing: breathe calmly or vigorously, but - breathe. If you know breathing practices, it is easier for you: breathe calmly, with an extended exhalation - just in time.

Also, after difficult events, when pain begins in the soul, it is useful to sleep. No wonder they say: "The morning is wiser than the evening." At night, the body relaxes, mental pain goes away. Option - professional massage. A good massage therapist will know that you have a heartache, even if you do not tell him about it. He will feel it with his hands - he will feel your muscle clamps. And with a high probability he will be able to stretch them, eliminating the base of mental pain. If after that you do not create it again, there will be no more pain. Rise up fresh and joyful.

The pain can return if you bring back memories to the painful situation. To prevent this from happening, keep yourself busy. Sometimes it helps to shift the focus of attention from yourself to anyone nearby: to start actively taking care of someone. When someone really needs you, you forget about yourself, and this is good in this case.

If you feel better, it is desirable to consolidate success. Here it can be useful to engage in active physical activity: work in the country, energetic sports (preferably with respiratory pumping), and finally, to switch completely, you can also dance in a good company. If you are basically a bright person, loving people and life, then you know how it helps to do something good for others, at least - to say a compliment good man, to take care of someone, to congratulate friends with something joyful and pleasant.

However, once again a warning, be careful: if something else is behind your mental pain (again: restrained anger, unlived resentment, etc.), then these remedies will not only not be effective, but will also create additional mental stress.

Looking Forward: Developing Mental Resilience

Mental pain often occurs in those who are not ready to face difficult life events. Strong people prepare themselves for everything in advance. It is useful - to develop your emotional stability, to strengthen your spiritual invulnerability when you meet at least with life's little things, to train your