Performance at the funeral. Speech at the funeral meeting of a colleague

23.03.2022

Memorial words

reflection of grief and pain of loss

The death of loved ones, relatives, friends is always a sad and tragic event in the life of every person. At such moments, it can be difficult to find the right words to express all the sorrow and pain. How to say that the deceased was dear? That he was the most wonderful person? Clearly and clearly articulate about his best qualities and not go too far? A funeral speech at a funeral is a text that is pronounced not from a piece of paper, but from the bottom of the heart.

Funeral speech - sample

First you need to give your name. Not everyone present at the funeral or commemoration knows you. It should be remembered that long, vague, lengthy phrases are suitable for political debate, but not for a mourning speech. It should be short and to the point. So, the speech at the commemoration is an example:

“I will introduce myself for those who do not know me: my name is (name). We have been working together with (deceased's name) for the past few years and I would like to say a few words in his memory.

He was a real professional in his field, a Specialist with a capital letter. Many of our colleagues, young and not only, learned the basics of craftsmanship from him and often used his advice and help. He was very patient and responsive, he could always listen to everyone who turned to him for support, give advice, help out, and never refuse anyone's requests. He could superbly cheer up anyone who was upset, confused or depressed about something. The countless funny stories he told, toasts, jokes and anecdotes could amuse anyone. We will all miss him at our dinner parties and corporate parties, where he always shone at the table, raising our morale. There is no other person like him in our team. And maybe in my memory there will be no more

We will all miss him greatly. He will remain in my memory and the memory of all our colleagues until the end of his life as an example of perseverance, sparkling cheerfulness, activity and professionalism!

Rest in peace, dear colleague!”

“My grandmother was a wonderful person with a difficult but interesting fate. Her mother, along with her three younger brothers and sister, raised her alone in the difficult post-war years. To say that they lived in poverty then would be an understatement. She had to endure many difficulties and hardships, but she never lost her optimism and presence of mind, she constantly helped her mother and took care of the younger members of the family. And later, having married a military grandfather, she steadfastly endured all the hardships of the service. In any circumstances, she always maintained exemplary order at home and accustomed all family members to it. Grandmother was sometimes strict, but fair. I am glad that I managed to learn from her accuracy and order, the ability to organize my life. And her famous apple pies were simply incomparable, no one else could do such!

I will always remember you, my dear, beloved grandmother! Your warmth, love and care will remain with us forever"

How to choose the right words?

Based on the examples presented above, several basic rules can be distinguished:

It is best to address the audience in the introduction. For example: "Dear friends and family of our beloved (name) ...".
You need to introduce yourself. What does it have to do with not only the name, but also the degree of your acquaintance, relationship: “My name is Alexei, (name) and I have been close friends (colleagues) for many (can be specified) years.”
It would not be superfluous to say a few words about my own experiences, about the pain that the message of death caused.
The following words characterize the deceased. Here it is important to remember the old Russian proverb, which perfectly indicates what they say at the wake: “About the dead, or good, or nothing”
In conclusion, they say condolences or standard, but still relevant for this funeral words: “May the earth rest in peace”, “Rest in peace”, and so on.

In general, we note that the speech at the commemoration is different from what is said directly at the funeral. So, in the moment of farewell, it is customary to speak very briefly. Here, condolences are mainly expressed to the relatives of the deceased.

A memorial speech on the day of the funeral should in no case be a memorized text. A few words from a pure heart, saturated with sincere empathy would be more appropriate. Relatives of the deceased in the early days are not able to perceive reality. It is too hard for them from the grief that has befallen, so it is worth respecting their feelings.

Memorial words for 40 days, for an anniversary, can be more intense. Here, the best things about the deceased are often remembered. But even after a while, insults, disagreements and quarrels should not be remembered. If you can’t overcome this in yourself, the best thing would be to keep silent or limit yourself to a couple of standard phrases.

Funeral verses

It has already been indicated above that poems at the funeral will be extremely inappropriate. Memorial speech for 40 days, 1 year may contain a small poetic inclusion. It can be the words of great poets or lines from an epitaph. Memorial verses on the anniversary of death contain warm words that can be attributed to the personality of the deceased to a greater extent, condolences and bitterness to a lesser extent. An example is:

When the parents leave
Forever fading light in the window.
The father's house is empty and may
I dream much more often.
* * *
We know you can't be brought back
Your deeds - eternal memory,
And only your pure soul is with us,
You light up our life path.

* * *
Sleep, my angel, calmly and sweetly.
Eternity will take you into its own hands.
You were worthy and steadfast
Survived these hellish torments.
* * *
On this day, full of heartache,
We sympathize with your misfortune
Unfortunately, our life is not eternal,
Every day we are getting closer to the line ...
We condole… Fortress of spirit
We wish you at this moment,
Let the earth be close down,
May the Almighty keep you from harm.
* * *
When you left, the light faded
And time suddenly stopped.
And they wanted to live together for a century ...
Why did it all happen?
* * *
May your dream be serene
No one will ever bother
Nothing can break
Oblivion eternal rest.
* * *
Thank you, dear, that you were in the world!
Thank you for loving you.
For all the years that we lived together.
Please don't forget me.
* * *
We remember, dear, and mourn,
The wind blows on the heart of the cold.
We love you forever
Nobody can replace you.
* * *
How we loved - only the Gods know.
How we suffered - only we knew.
After all, we went through all the hardships with you,
And we could not step over death ...
* * *
In this vicious circle - do not twist -
It will not be possible to find the end and the beginning.
Our role in this world is to come and go.
Who will tell us about the goal, about the meaning of the path?

* * *
Bear, Lord, sins and atrocities
Above Your mercy!
Slave / slave of the earth and vain desires
Forgive the sins for his / her sorrows!

What was his life? - Heavy sleep.
What is death? - From terrible dreams awakening.
He smiled sleepily -
And again, maybe there the dreaming began.
* * *
You left - and immediately the snow began to fall.
May you feel good there.
Let him cover a soft white blanket
The land where you are no longer...
* * *
Not chasing meaningless fame
Keeping love in your heart
He left, but managed to leave us
Eternal music bright motive
* * *
This order is immutable.
The passage of time is immemorial.
May it be quiet and sweet
Your peaceful sleep!

Memorial verses in the newspaper are published as condolences. Words at the wake should not contain ambiguous phrases. Extremely clear and understandable to all the assembled lines will be the most appropriate and correct.

Funeral toasts

Funerals usually end with a memorial dinner. Being at such a table, it is necessary to follow the rules of mourning etiquette. It is not allowed to talk loudly, laugh. Do not interrupt a person who is giving a speech at a wake. Often at the table, speech takes the form of a toast. Funeral toasts at a wake are significantly different from the usual ones. They do not contain a call for fun, but once again emphasize the bitterness and pain of loss.

They sit in the next world, in Paradise, souls at the table, talking, drinking, pouring more. One knocked over his jug, but it is empty. "That's it," he said, "I've been forgotten on Earth." So let's drink to the fact that the jugs of our departed loved ones are not empty!

Blessed memory of those who have departed from us, Let's drink to this, we are with you now. Let in our hearts, like granite, Keep the memory of the loved ones who have departed. May all the good that happened to them not be buried by a damp grave. How much we will keep the memory, So much and they will live with us.

Toasts at the commemoration can be pronounced in poetic form:

The philosopher knew - everything has its time,
Do not deceive fate:
The poet is lonely from the century -
Finished glorious let ...

There is no water in the commemoration cup!
Let's not grieve:
The midnight star will rise
We will meet again!

Let it pour from the righteous peaks,
Until the days are up
The melody of your soul
Why be sad about her?

Christian commemoration

Orthodoxy is one of the most widespread religions. Orthodox commemorations are significantly different from secular ones. So, for example, a speech at a commemoration of 40 days, 1 year is practically not pronounced. Christians gather at the table these days and make a joint prayer for the soul of the deceased. It is also customary these days to go to church and submit memorial notes, a sample of which can be seen in the church shop.

Ignorance of traditions almost always causes difficulties for relatives and friends at the moment when it is necessary to pronounce a memorial toast for the deceased.

Before the memorial dinner, one of the relatives (the eldest) invites people to the table:

- I ask you to the memorial table. Share our grief with us.
People are seated either in predetermined places, or arbitrarily, not forgetting that the place of the deceased must remain empty. Sitting down, you can light the candles standing on the tables.

The first toast at the wake is always said by a relative of the deceased:

-Today we saw off our loved one on his last journey (he calls him as it was customary in the family). May the earth rest in peace to him / her, and the memory is eternal. (Bows to a portrait or a free place of the deceased).

Everyone drinks. Not clinking.

After that, the relative says:

I ask to be the head of this table ... (calls the name of the most respected person at the wake).

The head of the table bows to a relative who sits down at the table and says:

Thanks for the honor. We all mourn with you, please accept our sincere condolences and sympathy ...

(At this point of the funeral toast, he bows to the photograph of the deceased or to his place)

The funeral toast ends with the words:

Following this, the head of the table gives the floor to everyone. But by seniority (depending on age and social status). It is unacceptable to refuse a word.

In your speeches, you can briefly talk about the good deeds of a deceased person, recall his positive qualities. In the memorial toast, it is allowed to mention some favorite expressions of the deceased; aphorisms that emphasize the bitterness of loss. For example…

Who is not forgotten is immortal

Lao Tzu

How much of ours has gone with you.
How much of you is left with us.

A loved one does not die
He just stops living with us

Light to your soul, memory to your name.

Not the dear one with whom it is good, but the one without whom it is bad.

It is not death that should be feared, but an empty life.

Bartolt Brecht

When we are born and when we die, we hurt someone.

Emil Krotky

Life is a gift we didn't ask for.

Krzysztof Konkolewski

We will all die, there are no immortal people.

And this is known to all and is not new.

But we live to leave a mark:

House or path, tree or word.

Rasul Gamzatov

It doesn't matter how a person died, what matters is how he lived.

Bernard Show

In life, as in sports, the main thing is not victory, but participation.

E. Vossarath

Each person is a world that is born with him and dies with him; under every tombstone lies the history of the world.

Heinrich Heine

Where there is memory, there is no need for words.

Mom never dies
It just stops being around.

Some examples of mourning speech:

"Friends! The deceased worked honestly at the enterprise (name) for more than twenty years. We all knew him as a decent, honest and modest person. Appreciated for skillful hands and reliable character. We will miss his many inconspicuous but indispensable contributions to the work! A bright memory of him will remain in our hearts!

“All his life, our father was a worthy example not only to his children, but also to those around him. In everyday life, he demonstrated a wise understanding of true values, kindness and devotion. Any person left him with an enlightened soul. And to us, his children, the father instilled love for people, a high sense of responsibility and devotion to the Motherland. We consider his departure unfairly early. Eternal to him, bright memory!

“Our grandfather was a very kind and good man. His path was long and difficult. All the difficulties that befell the country, he perceived as his own. He worked and raised children without complaining about the lack of benefits, lack of food or amenities. He raised children, was a support for grandchildren. We will all miss this wonderful man. Blessed memory to him!

Any toast at a commemoration invariably ends with the last phrase from the speech of the head of the table. I.e:

- May the earth be (calls the name and patronymic of the deceased / oh) down, and the memory is eternal!

The senior at the table completes the circle of mourning speeches:

Once again we express our sympathy to the family of the deceased, we wish all family members to endure this heavy loss, to maintain health and fortitude for a long time (bows to relatives).

Everyone gets up, bows to their relatives, drinks to their health, then sits down.

After that, the relatives of the deceased stand up. The last funeral toast is pronounced by the oldest woman in the family (if there is none, the eldest of the relatives):

Great is our grief today. Thank you for being with us at this hour, for your kind words, participation and sympathy. Be healthy. (Here you can invite those present to the next commemoration).

Thus ends the memorial service. After this toast, the person who made it leaves the table and goes to the door with other relatives. Everyone gets up from the table and leaves the hall, bowing to the portrait or the place of the deceased, and at the exit they express condolences to the relatives.

Saying goodbye at the wake is not accepted.

Signs after the funeral, before and during the burial

There are many signs that prescribe to the relatives of the deceased and everyone else who came to see him off on his last journey, how to behave at a funeral, and what not to do. Some of them were lost in the past and have not survived to this day, but many of the signs associated with the funeral are observed to this day.

Failure to comply with most superstitions and signs threatens with serious consequences - from illness to death. The energy of death is very heavy, and it does not forgive mistakes. Therefore, try to remember and observe signs during the funeral.

In the past, everyone knew and observed. Modern people think little about how to properly organize the burial and what to do in general. It is difficult to find a representative of today's youth who would have such knowledge, so older people usually follow what happens during the burial. But this does not mean that you do not need to learn from this experience.

Funeral superstitions - in the home

Even during the existence of numerous ritual offices, a large part of the organizational issues lies with the relatives of the deceased person. There are many points to be taken into account.

The deceased must not be left alone, not only in the house, but even in the room. Someone must always be near the coffin. There are many reasons for this. Items associated with the deceased have great magical power. Sometimes they are sought to be stolen by those who need these things for rituals. Care must be taken not to let this fall into the wrong hands. The church believes that the soul of the deceased needs prayer support, so you need to read the psalms and. Besides, leaving unattended is disrespectful.

There is another reason for this. The eyes of the deceased may open, and the one on whom his gaze falls will soon die. In order to prevent this, there should be someone near the coffin who will close the eyes of the dead if they open.

You may be interested in the article: signs if.

Immediately after death, all mirror surfaces should be hung with an opaque cloth. This is necessary so that the soul of the deceased does not fall into the mirror world instead of the afterlife. For forty days they do not open mirrors, because all this time the spirit is in its native places.

The piece of furniture on which the coffin stood should be turned upside down when it is taken to the cemetery. You can put it back only after a day has passed. If you ignore such a sign, the deceased may return in the form of a spirit. In order to prevent the accumulation of negative energy of death, an ax should be placed in place of the coffin.

Photographs to the deceased are not placed in any case, otherwise those depicted on it will die. So you can damage and kill the enemy from the world. However, this does not apply to photographs of the deceased (for example, the parents of the deceased).

The water used to wash the deceased is poured out in deserted places. So you will not allow it to be used in magic, because such water is not used for good deeds. Everything that was connected with the dead - a comb, soap used for washing, tourniquets, for tying hands and similar things - is placed in the coffin. They use such things only to induce damage.

When the legs of the deceased are warm until the very burial, this is a harbinger of the imminent death of someone living in the house. To avoid this, the dead man should be appeased by putting bread and salt in the coffin.

As long as there is a deceased in the housing, you can’t sweep it away, so you can “sweep out” everyone who lives here in the cemetery. But when they take him away to bury, there should be a person who will sweep and wash the floor in order to drive death out of the house. Tools for such cleaning are immediately taken out of the room and thrown away somewhere, they cannot be stored and used.

Be sure to leave a new handkerchief in the coffin so that the deceased has something to wipe sweat during the trial. Glasses, prostheses and similar things also put inside the coffin - personal items must go to another world with the owner.

If a funeral is taking place near you, and one of your family members is sleeping, be sure to wake it up, because the soul of the deceased can get into a sleeping person. Not all the dead calmly accept that they no longer live, and try to stay in the world of the living. You should especially worry about children and keep them awake during the funeral. And if your child is eating at this time, put water under the cradle.

Dogs and cats are not allowed in the room where the coffin is located. They can disturb his spirit. Jumped into the coffin. Howls and meows frighten the dead.

Near the threshold of the house with the deceased, spruce branches are placed so that relatives and friends who came to honor the memory do not take death to their home.

You can not sleep in a room with the deceased. If this happens, in the morning you need to eat noodles for breakfast.

Only widows wash the dead. Wash and dress in clean clothes before the body cools down. But after such a lesson, you can do a ceremony so that your hands never freeze. To do this, a small fire is lit from the chips and other wooden remains from which the coffin was made, and all participants in the washing warm their hands over it.

Why you can't look through the window at a funeral

If a funeral is taking place near you, you can’t look out the window, otherwise you will follow. There is such a sign, but few people know for sure why it is impossible to look through the window at the funeral. It is believed that for some time the soul of the deceased is next to the body, which, as you know, is in the coffin during the funeral. She feels discomfort from staring at her through the window pane, and even if a good and gentle person is buried in every sense, his spirit can avenge such impoliteness.

It is known how the spirit of the deceased can take revenge - drag it with it to the world of the dead. Old people say that if you look out the window at a funeral or a dead person in general, you can get seriously ill. This disease can be fatal. This belief is especially true for children, whose energy protection is weaker than that of adults. The vengeful spirit will be able to cope with the child much faster.

If a look at the deceased was accidental, which is not at all uncommon, in the old days they immediately looked away and made the sign of the cross three times, and also mentally wished the Kingdom of Heaven to the deceased and prayed for his soul. If you have a desire to look at the funeral procession, you need to go out the door of the apartment or the gate and look from the street. Many have such a desire, and there is nothing wrong in sympathy even with a stranger.

Bad omens at funerals - on the street and in the cemetery

Under no circumstances should you cross the path of the funeral procession. As a rule, those who do not comply with this rule are in for a serious illness. It's hard to let that happen.

Some believe that if you cross the road of the funeral procession, you can die for the same reasons for which the one who was buried died.

If the grave is dug too large, it may threaten the death of another family member. A similar meaning is attached to the coffin lid forgotten in the house. This should not be allowed.

You can not carry the coffin to relatives. This should be done by friends, colleagues, neighbors or people from the ritual agency - anyone but relatives. Otherwise, the deceased can take them with him. The people who carry the coffin must tie a new towel around their hand.

Have you ever wondered why everyone who came to the funeral throws a handful of earth on the coffin? So that the ghost could not come at night.

Close the lid of the coffin is possible only in the cemetery. If this is done at home, death will come to the family of the deceased and to those who board up the coffin.

When the coffin is carried out, you can’t look into the windows - it doesn’t matter if it’s your own or someone else’s, otherwise you will attract death to this house. In order for none of the relatives of the deceased to die soon, they do not turn back.

You can not go in front of the coffin - this is to death.

If, when digging a grave, they stumble upon what is left of the old one - bones, for example, this portends the deceased a good life in the next world and means that his spirit will not disturb the living.

Before the coffin is lowered into the ground, coins are thrown there to buy a place in the next world.

Signs and superstitions at the funeral - after burial

During the commemoration, as a rule, they put a photo of the deceased, and next to it - a glass of vodka (sometimes water) and a piece of bread. Anyone who drinks this vodka or eats the dead man's bread will fall ill and die. Even animals are not allowed.

After you return from the funeral, be sure to warm your hands with live fire or wash them in hot water. So you protect yourself from an early death. Many instead touch the stove or light candles to burn whatever they can get at the funeral.

You can’t cry too much for the dead, otherwise he will drown in your tears in the next world.

Every person has favorite places. Leave water there, because the soul is among the living for some time, and from time to time it needs water. Let it stand for forty days, top up from time to time. The relatives of the deceased cannot drink the same amount, and the lamp should also burn.

You should leave the cemetery without looking back. On the way out, wipe your feet.

The image that stood in front of the deceased must be floated on the water. They go to the river and put it on the water to float. You can’t store it, throw it away either, water is the only way to get rid of the icon so that it doesn’t bring trouble. In all other cases, take the icons to the church, they will decide what to do with them.

If extra burial items have been purchased, they are placed in a coffin or left in a cemetery. You can carry it away later if you missed this moment. You can not count the number of wreaths and ribbons for them, but they will remain in the cemetery in any case.

Sad events are confusing, at a crucial moment all words fly out of my head. The speech at the wake can be written in advance to control emotions.

Examples and order of what they say at the wake on the day of the funeral are presented in the table:

Memorial words should come from a pure heart. The built sample only gives clues. Supplement the speech with colorful epithets, enthusiastic words, what a wonderful person the deceased was.

Remember the last parting words spoken to you, what the deceased taught you.

End the mourning speech with words of gratitude, make a promise that you will never forget the deceased, you will keep the memories deep in your heart.

According to Christian custom, you can end the performance with a short joint prayer.

Advice! Do not make long pathetic speeches. Limit yourself to a short, sincere speech.

How to behave and what to say at the wake on the day of the funeral?

Being entangled in such tragic circumstances for the first time, you must know the rules for how to behave at a funeral. In such cases, it is difficult to restrain emotions, you can offend others with your behavior.

A heavy burden falls on the shoulders of the relatives of the deceased: the organization of the funeral and knowledge of the rules of conduct at such events.

Black clothes. Women must cover their heads with a scarf before entering the temple, men take off their hats.
It is customary to wear dark clothes, symbolizing longing for the deceased. Do not dress up, do bright makeup, choose a modest outfit without vulgar cutouts.
Organization. For a fee, all events will be planned by a special service.
Invite relatives, friends, colleagues of the deceased to the wake. If the family does not want to see someone at the funeral, they must inform the unwanted guest about it.
Set up a small first aid station. At the funeral, there are many tears and sorrows, fainting is not ruled out.
Collect a small first aid kit of sedatives and ammonia.
Share the feast. After the feast, distribute food to those invited.

Important! Make sure that the wake does not turn into a celebration. Limit or completely eliminate alcohol. Follow the rules of table etiquette.

There are a few more mandatory points that guests need to consider before going to a funeral and commemoration:

Buy a parting gift. Traditionally, they give a wreath of an even number of flowers with a commemorative inscription: “to a beloved father from a loving son”, “to a friend, you were the best”.
The inscription can be anything, but not offensive.
About the deceased, either good or nothing. Even if a neighbor drilled all day long, remember that he always greeted you and treated you with respect.
Express condolences to the man's family.
Don't refuse help if asked. The men are asked to carry the lid of the coffin, the women carry flowers and look after the children if necessary.
Farewell poetry. Poems can be read if they are appropriate, it is better to limit yourself to a short quatrain.
During the commemoration, close people are the first to speak. Sister, brother better to say goodbye in the middle of the event.

Farewell words at the funeral

Funeral speech in Christian canons is not always pronounced. To give the funeral a secular character, a participant in the ritual can publicly address the guests.

Words pronounces deceased mother's daughter, a close friend of the family. The moment is unfortunate, because after the farewell words, the coffin is lowered into the grave pit.

The purpose of such words is to solemnly say goodbye, let go and wish the kingdom of heaven.

For wires to another world, follow the rules for pronouncing grave words:

You don't have to tell everyone. The speech should be told by a close person who was well acquainted with the deceased.
Choose a person with a loud voice and good diction, emotionally stable. The daughter-in-law, delivering a speech to her mother-in-law on her last journey, will cry loudly.
The best funeral speeches are given by men.
Choosing the right words is the art of calming. The performance should not injure relatives and friends.
Talk about the best qualities of the deceased. Warm words will soothe the soul of the deceased in the afterlife.
Don't delay the performance talk no more than 5 minutes.
Use the outline to write your speech. indicated in the table above. Tell me that there was no one closer to your grandmother in your life, remember your character, actions, how important it is that everyone gathered today for the last farewell.

Memorial words for 9 days, 40 days and 1 year

The more time passes, the less the pain of loss. It is customary to gather a family at a common table for 9, 40 days after death, a year later.

At the commemoration, the deceased is remembered with joy and warmth. They tell stories, eat traditional dishes.

Drinking is a trend of the secular world, in Christian customs, it is possible to commemorate the deceased without wine.

Important! At a funeral, poetry is categorically inappropriate. But at the commemoration, touching poetry will come in handy, especially on the 9th, 40th day after death and on the anniversary.

The sincere and best option would be poems of your own composition, addressed to the deceased.

Who delivers the mourning speech?

Burial has a heavy emotional and psychological impact, the death of a person is most painfully perceived by close relatives. If in the immediate environment there is a person with strong willed qualities and mental stability, who is able to adequately speak to those who have come to say goodbye, he should be entrusted with making a speech. More often, such a duty is assigned to the closest people - spouse, children, parents.

The funeral director should not force anyone to give a farewell speech, the candidate must be selected in advance. If close relatives are depressed or for other reasons are not ready to address the audience, the sad duty should be placed on another relative, close friend or colleague.

When choosing a candidate, it is necessary to take into account the oratorical abilities of a person, his ability to speak in public.

With the last parting words, several people can speak. After the main speech, any of the audience should be given the opportunity to speak, inviting those who wish to say a few words. But it should be just a few words: lengthy statements will unnecessarily drag out the procedure, will have a negative impact on those who came to the burial. Long sermons can cause negative perception in people and not achieve the desired result. Depending on their attitude towards the deceased, those who wish can supplement the one who spoke with farewell words, briefly talk about his value as an employee or comrade, recall a significant episode or event from life in which they were a participant.

How to build a farewell speech?

The funeral speech at the funeral has a certain structure and must contain mandatory elements. The speaker is advised to prepare a speech in advance or have a clear plan of speech in order to avoid painful pauses and remember to say all the necessary words. At the same time, you should not look for patterns of farewells or adapt to the mourning words spoken at the funeral of public people. The main condition for a successful performance is sincerity and a warm attitude towards the deceased, a close relationship with him. Speech should be individualized and dedicated to the deceased. The deceased needs a bright memory, regardless of whether he was a believer or a secular person. The funeral word should evoke bright emotions in the audience.

In Orthodoxy, it is believed that prayers and kind words make it easier for the soul to stay in the next world, the buried one will soon go the way to God.

The speech should not be long. You should not remember the whole life path of a person, his career and family relationships. It is enough to dwell on the iconic ones and outline the main achievements in family life and at work, public relations. It is imperative to highlight positive character traits, note good relations with people, social status, recognition from the outside. Negative memories or negative statements are unacceptable, the speaker must be sensitive to both the deceased and his relatives. The funeral speech should contain some traditional turns and phrases, which we will give below. The performance does not need to be built in gloomy colors, it is necessary to create an atmosphere of mourning solemnity. When saying goodbye, it is important not only what they say, but also how they do it.

The memorial speech is addressed to all those gathered, so it is necessary to mention not only relatives, but also friends of the deceased. Unfamiliar people from among neighbors or colleagues may be present at the funeral. From the mourning speech, they must learn what a good person the deceased was, understand his main features and characteristics. Speech should ease the worries of relatives and loved ones. The speech is public, so statements can be more pathetic than personal condolences. At the same time, you should not go beyond reasonable limits and engage in frank praise or chanting of the deceased. Among those gathered there are people who closely knew both good and negative traits of a person.

Sample speech plan

There are no strict requirements for the structure of the mourning speech, but more often the speech is built according to the following plan:

the speaker introduces himself, indicates his attitude towards the deceased (degree of relationship, friend, colleague);
expresses sorrow in connection with the death of the one who is escorted to the last journey;
lists in chronological order the most important stages in the personal and professional life of the deceased, outstanding events that were important both for the deceased and his environment;
reflects personal positive character traits, features of his relationship with other people;
briefly recalls several joyful events or bright incidents (it is advisable to recall moments affecting relatives and friends of the deceased);
adds farewell words, a promise from himself and from those gathered to preserve the bright memory of the deceased.

It would be advisable for the speaker of the mourning speech to talk about personal experience of relations with the deceased, to report on the help or support received from him, to reflect the role and significance in his life. You can end the speech with a mandate or a motto that guided the deceased, a life statement that he often mentioned. It is allowed to set off the epitaph, including in poetic form, although the abuse of verses over the grave will not look entirely appropriate.

Farewell verses should not exceed 4-6 lines.

It is allowed to read the speech on paper or have a written speech plan. Excessive facial expressions, demonstrative gestures and postures when pronouncing are unacceptable. The speaker must be dressed in accordance with mourning traditions. During speech, it is desirable to restrain emotions - it is not worth crying, lamenting, speaking in a breaking voice. The male speaker at the funeral looks more solemn and appropriate to the situation.

Words of sorrow and memorial phrases

Traditionally, when saying goodbye to a person, some speech turns and phrases are used, inserted both in a funeral speech and in personal condolences. Rare speech does without the following words:

untimely loss, death (if appropriate);
bitterness, pain of loss;
live a decent and fulfilling life;
forever keep a bright memory;
rest in peace;
mourn the loss;
a worthy person has passed away;
great loss for all;
we part forever, say goodbye, etc.

The inclusion of such turns is appropriate and cannot be regarded as hackneyed patterns or worn out phrases. For many centuries, these formulations have been selected as the most accurate and acceptable for expressing grief and condolences.

When listing character traits, even negative points can be reflected in a positive way. Talking about the character of the deceased, you can use the following synonyms:

grumbling, picky person - critically thinking, demanding;
fisted, greedy - economical, prudent, rational;
spending a lot, living beyond his means - had a broad soul, did not spare for friends;
suspiciousness, suspiciousness - caution, accuracy in actions and decisions;
not very smart - naive, kind, trusting people;
arrogant, proud - self-confident, knowing his own worth;
stubborn, immune to other people's opinions - principled, firm;
unnecessarily soft, weak character - conflict-free, sociable, going forward.

Words of condolence

Speech at a funeral is not the only way to console the relatives of the deceased.

It is equally important to express a personal attitude to the grief that has occurred, to directly show one's participation. Finding the right words is difficult, especially if death struck in childhood or young age. As an example, here are some phrases that are appropriate for use both in a mourning speech and individually:

we sincerely condole with the relatives and friends of the untimely deceased ... it is very bitter to lose your loved ones, relatives and friends, and doubly bitter when death takes the young, God rest his soul;
everyone who knew him is grieving now, such a tragedy left no one indifferent, everyone refuses to believe that this is possible;
I understand how hard it is for you now, and I sympathize, I will never be able to forget him;
always contact on any matter, for any help, I will always be ready to help;
we grieve with you for the untimely departed ..., for all the time that he was known, he always was ...;
this is a great loss for everyone, we will always miss him, God bless his soul;
they say they love grandchildren even more than their children, we understand how hard it is for you now, our sincere condolences in grief;
there is nothing more painful than the loss of a child, there is no greater tragedy, it is impossible to find words of support to ease your pain even a little, we sympathize, we mourn together for your daughter / son.

Close relatives need consolation. Warm participation, sincere regrets will help alleviate the emotional state and survive the loss. A person close to the deceased should feel that he was not left alone with misfortune, friends are ready to help and support him, and will keep a good memory of the deceased.

Memorial speech

A memorial speech at a commemoration differs in its content from a funeral speech. During the burial, the speaker addresses all those gathered, the speech is dedicated to the deceased. At the commemoration, one should focus on the support of relatives, the expression of sympathy for them. In a commemorative speech, it is proposed to honor the memory of the deceased with a minute of silence and commemorate him.

The speaker at the commemoration speaks while standing, the speech should be short.

The head of the family or an older close relative usually speaks first at the wake. In the future, any of those present can take the floor. The person who has taken care of organizing the funeral follows the general conversation and, if necessary, fills in the pauses that arise, and regulates the timely change of dishes. Traditionally, funerals are commemorated with alcohol. Some of those present, for various reasons, may be in a state of intoxication and want to speak. The organizer must delicately stop or minimize the performance, avoiding inappropriate statements and actions.

Speech at a commemoration is built similarly to a funeral speech, but should be shorter and less pretentious, should contain words of consolation to relatives and friends. If the speech of a close relative is interrupted by tears, the speaker cannot finish speaking, or begins to experience physical discomfort, the funeral director must be ready to stop the situation with ready-made phrases and actions.