How to get out of depression. Laziness in the human soul
I have very little will to live. I understand that this is a sin, but I am often visited by an unwillingness to live, sometimes very strong and obsessive. I try to repent and improve. But for now, it's all over again. I can't do anything well, I have no friends. And now the brain does not work well and I do not cope well with my duties at work. How to get out of this?
Elena.
What is depression from the point of view of Orthodoxy? How can you get rid of it if doctors can't help?
Valentine.
Hello Elena and Valentin. For the reason that your questions are about the same subject, let me answer them in one article.
Depression, as psychiatry calls it, is a disease of the soul that afflicts humanity as it falls away from God. However, modern psychiatric science does not even have two centuries in its history. Meanwhile, from ancient times, the function of caring for the mentally ill was performed by the Church. In patristic literature, the term "despondency" is used to refer to this disease.
Recently I had to read an article by one, apparently, a little church person, who indignantly writes, they say, how is it possible, such a terrible disease, and the Church calls it a sin? To resolve this bewilderment, let us recall that in the tradition of the Eastern Church, the consequence of any deeply rooted sin is illness (passion), so we do not sin at all by calling it a sin.
According to the teaching of the Fathers of the Church, despondency is the loss of that spiritual joy in God, which is nourished by hope in His merciful providence for us.
A saddened monk (and every person - I.S.) does not know spiritual pleasure. (St. Neil of Sinai). This is a painful condition in which the love of prayer is taken away from people who are engaged in the salvation of their souls, a dreary mood penetrates into the soul, which becomes constant over time, a feeling of loneliness comes, abandoned by relatives, loved ones, by all people in general and even by God. Sometimes this mental illness is expressed in anger, irritability.
The Holy Fathers, enumerating the eight destructive passions leading to spiritual death, according to their increasing danger, ranked despondency in sixth place. The beginning of despondency is lack of faith. If it takes possession of a person, then faith in God, hope in Him and love for Him gradually fade away, and the person falls into despair. Despondency is a kind of severe spiritual illness. Sadness and sorrow, if they are not rooted in a person, are not a disease. They are inevitable on our earthly path. “In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer: I have conquered the world,” says the Lord to his disciples (John 16:33).
Why is this state - "a dull dream of the soul" - considered sinful? Because, say the Holy Fathers, despondency is often the result of a forgotten fall into sin or a hidden, imperceptible other passion: envy, fornication, ambition, greed, desire for revenge on the offender. The cause of despondency is also overwork from oppressive worries. Often despondency comes from excessive and self-inflicted deeds among especially zealous Christians.
To get rid of this sinful disease, the Church offers us, first of all, repentance, prayer, and other deeds in the fulfillment of the Gospel commandments. The Monk Elijah Ekdik admonishes us: “Do not lose heart, looking at the difficulty of your mental illness; but using the most effective medicines against her for difficult feats, remove yourself from her, if you sincerely have care for the health of your soul. The Monk Nilus of Sinai speaks of the same thing: “In every business, determine a measure for yourself and do not leave it before you finish; also, pray intelligently and fervently, and the spirit of despondency flees from you.”
A Christian who is impoverished in prayer and given over to despondency must first of all try to find the cause of his oppressive passion, that sinful desire that was its cause, and enter into a struggle with it. And before that, say St. Fathers, how will he strike this sinful desire, the spirit of prayer, even especially hot, will return to him for one determination to overcome evil in himself.
There is despondency due to earthly causes - surging troubles and sorrows that are beyond our control. But there is also despondency from disbelief in the Providence of God, disobedience to it, anger, grumbling. We must be afraid of such a state and ask God for forgiveness and help, and then the spirit of despondency will depart from us, and in sorrow the consolation of God will certainly come and be accepted by the soul, surpassing all earthly consolations.
Despondency arises from distrust of God, so we can say that it is the fruit of lack of faith.
But what, in turn, is distrust of God and lack of faith? It does not arise by itself, out of nowhere. It is a consequence of the fact that a person trusts himself too much, because he thinks too high of himself. And the more a person trusts himself, the less he trusts God. And trusting yourself more than God is the clearest sign of pride.
The first root of despondency is pride
Therefore, in the words of St. Anatoly of Optina, “despair is a product of pride. If you expect everything bad from yourself, you will never despair, but you will only humble yourself and peacefully repent.” “Despair is a denouncer of unbelief and selfishness in the heart: he who believes in himself and trusts in himself will not rise from sin with repentance” (St. Theophan the Recluse).
As soon as something happens in the life of a proud man that exposes his impotence and unfounded confidence in himself, he immediately becomes discouraged and despairs.
And this can happen from a variety of reasons: from offended pride or from what is not being done in our own way; also from vanity, when a person sees that his equals use b O greater advantages than he; or from the restrictive circumstances of life, as St. Ambrose of Optina testifies to this.
A humble person who believes in God knows that these unpleasant circumstances test and strengthen his faith, just as the muscles of an athlete in training are strengthened; he knows that God is near and that He will not put more trials than he can bear. Such a person, who trusts in God, never loses heart even in difficult circumstances.
The proud man, relying on himself, as soon as he finds himself in difficult circumstances that he himself cannot change, immediately falls into despondency, thinking that if he cannot correct what happened, then no one can correct it; moreover, at the same time, he is sad and annoyed because these circumstances have shown him his own weakness, which the proud cannot endure calmly.
Precisely because despondency and despair are a consequence and, in a certain sense, a demonstration of disbelief in God, one of the saints said: “In a moment of despair, know that it is not the Lord who leaves you, but you the Lord!”
So, pride and lack of faith are some of the main causes of despondency and despair, but still far from the only ones.
St. John of the Ladder speaks of two main types of despair, arising from different causes: “There is despair that comes from a multitude of sins and a burden of conscience and unbearable sorrow, when the soul, due to the multitude of these ulcers, sinks and drowns in the depths of hopelessness from their severity. But there is despair of another kind, which comes from pride and haughtiness, when the fallen think that they did not deserve their fall ... From the first, abstinence and good faith heal; and from the latter - humility and not judging anyone.
The second root of despondency is the dissatisfaction of passions
So, with regard to the second kind of despair, which comes from pride, we have already shown what its mechanism is. And what is meant by the first kind, "proceeding from a multitude of sins"?
This kind of despondency, according to the holy fathers, comes when some passion has not found satisfaction. As St. John Cassian writes, despondency "is born from the dissatisfaction of the desire for some kind of self-interest, when someone sees that he has lost the hope born in the mind to receive some things."
For example, a glutton who suffers from a peptic ulcer or diabetes will be discouraged because he cannot enjoy the desired amount of food or the variety of its taste; a stingy person - because he cannot avoid spending money, and so on. Despondency is accompanied by almost any unsatisfied sinful desires, if a person does not refuse them for one reason or another.
Therefore, St. Nilus of Sinai says: “He who is bound by sorrow is overcome by passions, because sorrow is the result of failure in carnal desire, and desire is associated with every passion. He who conquered passions does not possess sadness. Just as a sick person is seen by the complexion, so sadness reveals the passionate. Whoever loves the world will grieve a lot. And whoever neglects what is in the world will always be glad.”
As despondency grows in a person, specific desires lose their significance, and a state of mind remains that seeks precisely those desires that cannot be fulfilled - already to fuel the despondency itself.
Then, according to the testimony of the Monk John Cassian, “we are subjected to such sorrow that we cannot receive even kind faces and our relatives with usual friendliness, and no matter what they say in a decent conversation, everything seems to us untimely and superfluous, and we do not give a pleasant answer to them, when all the curves of our hearts are filled with bile bitterness.
Therefore, despondency is like a swamp: the longer a person plunges into it, the harder it is for him to get out of it.
Other roots of sadness
The causes that excite despondency in unbelievers and in people of little faith have been described above. However, despondency attacks, albeit less successfully, believers. But for other reasons. St. Innokenty of Kherson writes in detail about these reasons:
“There are many sources of despondency - both external and internal.
First, in the souls of the pure and close to perfection, despondency can come from leaving them for a while by the grace of God. The state of grace is the most blessed. But lest he who is in this state imagine that it comes from his own perfections, grace sometimes withdraws, leaving his favorite to himself. Then the same thing happens to the holy soul, as if midnight had come in the middle of the day: darkness, coldness, deadness, and at the same time despondency appear in the soul.
Secondly, despondency, as people experienced in the spiritual life testify, comes from the action of the spirit of darkness. Unable to deceive the soul on the way to heaven with the blessings and pleasures of the world, the enemy of salvation turns to an opposite means and brings despondency to it. In such a state, the soul is like a traveler, suddenly caught in darkness and fog: it sees neither what is ahead nor what is behind; doesn't know what to do; loses courage, falls into indecision.
The third source of despondency is our fallen, impure, weakened nature, dead from sin. As long as we act out of self-love, filled with the spirit of the world and passions, until then this nature in us is cheerful and alive. But change the direction of life, go from the wide path of the world to the narrow path of Christian self-denial, set about repentance and self-correction - immediately a void will open inside you, spiritual impotence will be revealed, heart deadness will be felt. As long as the soul does not have time to be filled with a new spirit of love for God and neighbor, until then the spirit of despondency, to a greater or lesser extent, is inevitable for it. This kind of despondency is most experienced by sinners after their conversion.
The fourth, the usual source of spiritual despondency, is a lack, much less a cessation of activity. Having ceased to use its strengths and abilities, the soul loses its liveliness and vigor, becomes lethargic; the former occupations themselves oppose her: discontent and boredom appear.
Despondency can also occur from various sad events in life, such as: the death of relatives and loved ones, loss of honor, property and other unfortunate adventures. All this, according to the law of our nature, is accompanied by unpleasantness and sorrow for us; but, according to the law of nature itself, this sadness should decrease with time and disappear when a person does not indulge in sadness. Otherwise, a spirit of despondency is formed.
Despondency can also occur from certain thoughts, especially gloomy and heavy ones, when the soul indulges too much in such a thought and looks at objects not in the light of faith and the Gospel. So, for example, a person can easily fall into despondency from frequent reflection on the iniquity that prevails in the world, about how the righteous here mourn and suffer, while the wicked are exalted and blissful.
Finally, various morbid conditions of the body, especially some of its members, can be the source of spiritual despondency.
How to deal with despondency and its creations
The great Russian saint, Rev. Seraphim of Sarov said: “You need to remove despondency from yourself and try to have a joyful spirit, and not a sad one. According to Sirach, “sorrow has killed many, but there is no benefit in it (Sir. 31: 25).”
But how exactly can you remove despondency from yourself?
Let us recall the unfortunate young businessman mentioned at the beginning of the article, who for many years can do nothing with the despondency that gripped him. He was convinced from his own experience of the truth of the words of St. Ignatius (Bryanchaninov): “Earthly entertainments only drown out sorrow, but do not exterminate it: they fell silent, and again sorrow, rested and, as it were, strengthened by rest, begins to act with greater force.”
Now it's time to tell in more detail about that special circumstance in the life of this businessman, which we mentioned earlier.
His wife is a deeply religious person, and she is free from that gloomy, impenetrable longing that shrouded her husband's life. He knows that she is a believer, that she goes to church and reads Orthodox books, as well as that she does not have "depression". But for all the years that they have been together, it has never occurred to him to connect these facts together and try to go to the temple himself, read the Gospel ... He still regularly visits a psychologist, receiving short-term relief, but not healing.
How many people are exhausted from this mental illness, not wanting to believe that healing is just around the corner. And this businessman, unfortunately, is one of them. We would like to write that one fine day he became interested in faith, which gives his wife the strength not to succumb to despondency and keep the pure joy of life. But, alas, so far this has not happened. And until then, he will remain among those unfortunates, about whom St. Demetrius of Rostov said: “There is no sorrow for the righteous that would not turn into joy, just as there is no joy for sinners that would not turn into sorrow.”
But if suddenly this businessman turned to the treasury of the Orthodox faith, what would he find out about his condition and what methods of healing would he receive?
He would have learned, among other things, that there is a spiritual reality in the world and that spiritual beings are active: the good ones are angels and the evil ones are demons. The latter, out of their malice, seek to cause as much harm as possible to the human soul, turning him away from God and from the path to salvation. These are enemies seeking to kill a person both spiritually and bodily. For their purposes, they use different methods, among them the most common is suggesting certain thoughts and feelings to people. Including thoughts of despondency and despair.
The trick is that demons try to convince a person that these are his own thoughts. A person who does not believe or has little faith is completely unprepared for such a temptation and does not know how to relate to such thoughts, he really takes them for his own. And, following them, he comes closer and closer to death - in the same way, a traveler in the desert, mistaking a mirage for a true vision, begins to chase him and goes further and further into the depths of a lifeless desert.
A person who believes and is spiritually experienced knows about the existence of the enemy and about his tricks, knows how to recognize his thoughts and cut them off, thereby successfully opposing demons and defeating them.
A despondent person is not one who experiences thoughts of despondency at times, but one who is defeated by them and does not fight. And vice versa, it is not the one who has never experienced such thoughts that is free from despondency - there are no such people on earth, but the one who fights with them and defeats them.
St. John Chrysostom said: “Excessive despondency is more harmful than any demonic action, because demons, if they rule in someone, then rule through despondency.”
But if a person was deeply struck by the spirit of despondency, if the demons received such power in him, then it means that the person himself did something that gave them such power over him.
It has already been said above that one of the reasons for despondency among unbelievers is the lack of faith in God and, accordingly, the lack of a living connection with Him, the source of all joy and good. But the lack of faith is rarely something innate for a person.
Faith in a person is killed by unrepentant sin. If a person sins and does not want to repent and renounce sin, then sooner or later he inevitably loses faith.
Conversely, faith is resurrected in sincere repentance and confession of sins.
Unbelievers themselves deprive themselves of two of the most effective ways to deal with depression - repentance and prayer. “The destruction of despondency is served by prayer and unceasing meditation on God,” writes St. Ephraim the Syrian.
It is worth giving a list of the main means of combating despondency that a Christian has at his disposal. Saint Innocent of Kherson speaks of them:
“No matter what despondency comes from, prayer is always the first and last remedy against it. In prayer, a person stands directly in the face of God: but if, standing against the sun, it is impossible not to be illuminated by light and not to feel warmth, all the more so, spiritual light and warmth are the immediate consequences of prayer. In addition, prayer attracts grace and help from above, from the Holy Spirit, and where the Spirit is the Comforter, there is no place for despondency, there sorrow itself will be sweet.
Reading or listening to the word of God, especially the New Testament, is also a powerful remedy for discouragement. It was not in vain that the Savior called to Himself all those who labor and are burdened, promising them peace and joy. He did not take this joy with Him to heaven, but left it entirely in the Gospel for all those who grieve and are despondent in spirit. Whoever is imbued with the spirit of the Gospel ceases to mourn joylessly: for the spirit of the Gospel is the spirit of peace, comfort and joy.
Divine services, and especially the holy sacraments of the Church, are also great medicine against the spirit of despondency, for in the church, as the house of God, there is no place for it; the sacraments are all directed against the spirit of darkness and the weaknesses of our nature, especially the sacrament of confession and communion. Laying off the burden of sins through confession, the soul feels lightness and vigor, and receiving the body and blood of the Lord in the Eucharist, it feels revival and joy.
Conversations with people rich in Christian spirit are also a remedy for despondency. In conversation, we generally come out more or less from the gloomy inner depths into which the soul plunges from despondency; besides this, through the exchange of thoughts and feelings in the conversation, we will borrow from those who are talking to us a certain strength and vitality, which is so necessary in a state of despondency.
Reflection on comforting objects. For a thought in a dull state either does not act at all, or circles around sad things. To get rid of despondency, one must force oneself to think otherwise.
Occupation of oneself with bodily labor also drives away despondency. Let him begin to work, even reluctantly; let him continue the work, although without success: from the movement the body comes to life, and then the spirit, and cheerfulness is felt; Thought in the midst of labor will inconspicuously turn away from objects that bring melancholy, and this already means a lot in a state of despondency.
Prayer
Why is prayer the most effective remedy for discouragement? For many reasons.
First, when we pray during despondency, we thereby fight against the demon that is trying to plunge us into this despondency. He does this so that we despair and move away from God, this is his plan; when we turn to God in prayer, we destroy the enemy’s tricks, showing that we did not fall into his trap, did not surrender to him, but, on the contrary, we use his intrigues as an excuse to strengthen the connection with God that the demon tried to break .
Secondly, since despondency in most cases is a consequence of our pride, prayer helps to heal from this passion, that is, it pulls out the very root of despondency from the earth. After all, every humble prayer asking God for help - even such a short one as “Lord, have mercy!” - means that we recognize our weakness and limitations and begin to trust God more than ourselves. Therefore, each such prayer, even uttered through force, is a blow to pride, similar to the blow of a huge weight that crushes the walls of dilapidated houses.
And finally, thirdly, and most importantly: prayer helps because it is an appeal to God, Who alone can really help in any, even the most hopeless situation; the only one who is strong enough to give true consolation and joy and freedom from despondency. "
In sorrows and temptations the Lord helps us. He does not free us from them, but gives us the strength to endure them easily, not even noticing them.
If we are with Christ and in Christ, then no sorrow will confuse us, and joy will fill our hearts so that we will rejoice both during sorrows and during temptations” (St. Nikon of Optina).
Some advise praying to the guardian angel, who is always invisibly next to us, ready to support us. Others advise reading the Akathist to the Sweetest Jesus. There is also advice to read the prayer “Our Lady of the Virgin, rejoice” many times in a row, with the hope that the Lord will certainly give peace to our souls for the sake of the prayers of the Mother of God.
But the advice of St. Ignatius (Bryanchaninov) deserves special attention, who recommended during times of despondency to repeat such words and prayers as often as possible.
"Thank God for everything".
"God! I surrender to Your Holy Will! Be with me Thy Will."
"God! I thank You for everything You are pleased to send to me.”
“I accept what is worthy according to my deeds; remember me, Lord, in your kingdom."
The Holy Fathers noted that it is especially difficult for a person to pray in despondency. Therefore, not everyone will be able to fulfill the large prayer rules at once, but everyone can say those short prayers that St. Ignatius indicated, this is not difficult.
As for the unwillingness to pray in despondency and despair, you need to understand that this is not our feeling, but the demon instilled in us specifically for the purpose of depriving us of the weapon with which we can defeat him.
St. Tikhon of Zadonsk speaks of this unwillingness to pray in despondency: “I advise you the following: convince yourself and force yourself to prayer and to every good deed, although you don’t feel like it. Just as people drive a lazy horse with a whip so that it walks or runs, so we need to force ourselves to do everything, and especially to prayer. Seeing such work and diligence, the Lord will give desire and diligence.
Of the four phrases proposed by St. Ignatius, two are phrases of gratitude. About why they are given, he himself explains: when such thoughts invade, thanksgiving is pronounced in simple words, with attention and often - until peace is brought to the heart. There is no sense in mournful thoughts: they do not relieve grief, they do not bring any help, they only upset the soul and body. This means that they are from demons and it is necessary to drive them away from oneself ... Thanksgiving first calms the heart, then brings consolation to it, and subsequently brings heavenly joy - a guarantee, a foretaste of eternal joy.
During despair, demons inspire a person with the idea that there is no salvation for him and his sins cannot be forgiven. This is the greatest demonic lie!
“Let no one say: “I have sinned a lot, there is no forgiveness for me.” Whoever speaks like this forgets about the One Who came to earth for the sake of those who suffer and said: “...there is joy among the angels of God and over one sinner who repents” (Luke 15:10) and also: “I came to call not the righteous, but sinners to repentance” (Luke 5:32),” teaches St. Ephraim the Syrian. As long as a person is alive, it is really possible for him to repent and receive forgiveness of sins, no matter how serious they may be, and, having received forgiveness, transform his life, fill it with joy and light. And demons are trying to deprive a person of this opportunity, instilling in him thoughts of despair and suicide, because after death it is already impossible to repent.
So “none of the people, even having reached the extreme degree of evil, should not despair, even if he has acquired the skill and entered into the nature of evil itself” (St. John Chrysostom).
St. Tikhon of Zadonsk explains that being tested by despondency and despair makes a Christian more cautious and experienced in spiritual life. And "the longer" such a temptation continues, "the more benefit it will bring to the soul."
The Orthodox Christian knows that the more severe the sorrow of all other temptations, the greater the reward will be received by those who endure sorrow with patience. And in the fight against despondency, the greatest crown is bestowed. Therefore, “let us not lose heart when afflictions and sorrows befall us, but, on the contrary, we will become more glad that we are walking the path of the saints,” advises St. Ephraim the Syrian.
God is always near each of us, and He does not allow demons to afflict a person with despondency as much as they would like. He gave us freedom, and He also makes sure that no one takes this gift from us. So at any moment a person can turn to God for help and repent.
If a person does not do this, this is his choice, the demons themselves are not able to force him to do so.
In conclusion, I would like to quote a prayer composed by St. Demetrius of Rostov just for people suffering from despondency:
God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Father of bounty and God of all comfort, comforting us in all our sorrow! Comfort every one who is grieving, saddened, in despair, overwhelmed by the spirit of despondency. After all, every person was created by Your hands, wise in wisdom, exalted by Your right hand, glorified by Your goodness ... But now we are visited by Your Fatherly punishment, short-term sorrows! - You compassionately punish those whom you love, and you have mercy generously and look at their tears! So, having punished, have mercy and quench our sorrow; turn sorrow into joy and dissolve our sorrow with joy; surprise us with Thy mercy, wonderful in the advice of the Lord, incomprehensible in the destinies of the Lord and blessed in Thy deeds forever, amen.
Statistics show that in winter a person most often falls into despondency, apathy and depression. Loses joy in life, thinks about the bad. How get rid of sadness and easy to go from winter to spring?
It is known that everything has its time. So there is a time to cleanse, and there is a time to be filled. Autumn and winter are the time of purification. And spring and summer are the time of filling.
That is why in winter it is often dreary and we want the sun, and in spring and summer it is so easy and joyful for us to live.
Winter is the period when the goddess Mara rules, which sends us many spiritual trials, spiritual and physical. Having adequately passed all the tests of the winter goddess, a person is cleansed.
Cleansing and renewing is like peeling off old skin. Remember the fairy tales about this? First you need to go through certain obstacles, the actions you need to take, and then you will be happy.
And Ivan Tsarevich went through his trials in order to find his beloved, and the Frog Princess baked, sewed and danced in order to find her female happiness.
Therefore, if a person has not started cleansing in time since autumn, then in winter the “disease”, that is, the spleen, will certainly cover him with his head.
If a person has done a good job sincerely, has let go of all the traps and resentments, has built his tasks and goals for the next year, then in his life comes spring renewal and joy abides in his soul.
Who is to blame, or what to do?
It is good for those, you say, dear readers, who know the laws of nature, and even live according to these laws. Like, in the winter to clean ...
What if it's taken? If the dragonfly sang red all summer, and then winter came? If such an unearthly longing has already attacked that you don’t want to do anything, and the good world is not sweet, things are not joyful, and desires have completely disappeared somewhere all at once! What to do in this case?
The answer is simple actually. Of course, you can close yourself within four walls, do nothing, feel sorry for yourself, and slowly but surely, I would say, with snail steps, move towards the end of such a not joyful and unhappy life.
And then be reborn and… hey! Our song is good, start over!
And, as you, dear readers, have already understood, it is fun to walk the same life path again with uncompleted, and often aggravated tasks from a past life, and all this is fun, or again sad, to unravel.
And there is another option. It's easy to understand that you can't get away from your life programs. You still have to solve your problems. Not in this life, but in the next. Therefore, it is better to quickly resolve everything, speaking in the language of the youth, stop moping and continue to live in good health and excellent mood.
Jokes are jokes. But in fact, when a person becomes discouraged, when he constantly wants to cry and his soul is torn from pain and suffering, when everything inside screams “I can’t do this anymore”, a person really has very little strength left to cope on his own.
At such moments, it is important and vital to tell your family and friends about What do you feel, What are you thinking about. And ask them for help.
If you still see a small, even a very tiny straw ahead of you, which you can grab onto and heal from despondency and depression, then gather all your will into a fist and ... grab it decisively!
How to get rid of despondency. 11 ways to wake up
Before listing the list of saving “straws” for getting rid of despondency, I want to say the following.
However, it will be more effective to gradually add the next to one perfect action, and then the next. Until you start thinking for yourself OWN ways to get rid of despondency.
It will also be important to note that depression, apathy, despondency, melancholy, unwillingness to do anything, unwillingness to live are all signs of spiritual illness.
This is a sure sign that you do not have life goals, you do not know where to go next. Life is like a fog. Or you do not live your life, you do not achieve your goals, but those imposed on you, you do not want your desires.
Take time for yourself to reflect: what is my meaning of life, why do I live, what, in my opinion, is my purpose.
If you want, you can use the help of relatives, ask them about your talents and skills. They will cover the answer to what you were born for and what tools you have to fulfill your destiny.
Look for reasons why you live. Seek and discover.
May the force be with you in this endeavor. And generally speaking.
Let's summarize
So, dear readers.
As you can see, there are enough ways to get rid of discouragement. In truth, the most difficult thing in this work is to force yourself to overcome "weakness" and impotence and do something. But everything is possible.
The most important, if you feel that you are falling into despondency, you should not succumb to this feeling. Drive him away before it's too late.
Getting out of a deep ditch is more difficult than getting out of a small hole or, walking and clinging to a bump, keep on the move.
Come up with your own ways getting rid of despondency, apathy and depression. By the way, you can assign yourself awards for the work done, give out prizes. Negotiate this with your imagination.
Remember, if you have at least one ray of hope that everything will be fine, if you have at least a drop of the desire to smile and feel happiness in your chest again, if your soul is glad for the light of day or a kind word for even a second, then everything is not lost!
Cling stronger and more confidently to the straw that life throws at you. Grab and hold on.
You look, the straw miraculously turns into a strong stick, then the stick then into a strong pole, and then you completely get out of the swamp to the shore and joyfully run through the expanses of life.
Then the long-awaited spring update will come!
Every day, with confident steps, go to your joy, overcome sadness and longing, do the most incredible actions for you - the main thing is that you feel like a happy person again who wants to live, create and enjoy life!
With love to you, dear readers!
PS: And at the end of this story, I want to give you the composition of Alla Pugacheva "Hold me, straw."
Alla Pugacheva Hold me straw. Listen
P.P.S.: And what ways of filling with joy do you use? Write in the comments, please. It is very interesting to me!
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Despondency is a passion that is familiar to everyone. It manifests itself in different ways, often hiding behind some kind of decent appearance, and therefore it can be difficult to distinguish. But you need to be able to distinguish it, because this passion is insidious and very dangerous. She, as she says, is the all-striking death. What is despondency?
Despondency is a mortal sin!
It manifests itself in two forms - sometimes as unbearable boredom, melancholy, and sometimes as laziness and indifference to spiritual pursuits. In the latter case, a person may outwardly not have a dull look at all, on the contrary, he can have fun, joke and treat everything with some kind of liveliness. To everything - except for reading the Holy Scriptures, prayer and other spiritual activities.
People who do not believe due to emptiness in the soul are often in a state of extreme despondency. I think that most of the cases of the so-called - this is precisely despondency in the extreme. Let me tell you a story from my youth. One person I knew intimately had a father who committed suicide. And this young man fell into a state of depression - to such an extent that for weeks he lay face to the wall, and he did not need anything. His mother was an unbeliever, had a secondary pedagogical education, and therefore believed that she knew everything. And she drove him even more with her moralizing. It ended up that their neighbor, a believing grandmother, took pity on this guy and persuaded him to go to church. He began to go to the temple.
Jesus Prayer
He understood little, observed little, but went from time to time. He immediately felt much better. Then he got acquainted with our company, got involved in it, and since we tried to lead a Christian life, more or less strictly observe fasts, he also began to behave in the same way. It became even easier for him. Then, when we told him about how to deal with passions and, in particular, with despondency, he began to monitor his soul, pray and completely abandoned all medicines, became a normal person. True, he had to lie to doctors. They asked him: “Well, how?”, He said: “Nothing.” "Are you on medication?" - "I drink, it helps a lot." If he had said that he did not drink, they might have put him in the hospital by force - there was such a time. In fact, he didn't take anything. Here is an example of the fact that depression is just a state of mind of a person, despondency from the fact that there is no God in the soul.
Does a believer not get discouraged?
This condition is common to many people. Moreover, we see around us people who are not only in despondency, but in the deepest despair. One famous ascetic of our time said that modern unbelief is a consequence of despair, all of humanity has fallen into despair. That is, people feel such hopelessness, they are so desperate for their salvation, that they already deny the existence of God in order to be able to live in peace. But the melancholy from this only intensifies, and the person tries to drown it out with something. For example, he begins to drink and tries in this rude way to find some kind of peace of mind. A more refined way to drown out inner longing is a person's desire to enjoy works of art, to some kind of abstract activity.
But, of course, it would be wrong to say that a believing person does not experience despondency. It happens, and very often. Now I will not talk about despondency as a heavy battle instigated by demons, but I will talk about the type of despondency that occurs most often - about laziness. This is what Saint Gregory of Sinai calls despondency. When he lists the main passions, instead of the word “despondency” he says ““. This is the same laziness, only in relation to spiritual and moral subjects. I don’t want to go to church, I don’t want to pray, read the Holy Scriptures, and generally work on my soul. Why?
Purify the soul
Because we see how many passions are in our soul and how much needs to be done to purify it. As it happens in life: you come, you see that you need to chop a huge pile of firewood, and you immediately think: “Yes, well! Maybe we’ll endure it somehow, we’ll freeze, we’ll wrap ourselves in a sheepskin coat, we’ll hide ourselves with a blanket ... ”There is such a good example in Otechnik. The father sent his son to till the field. He came, saw that it was all overgrown with weeds, became discouraged and went to bed; then he got up, looked at the field, and went back to sleep. He did this for several days. When the father came and asked why he had not done anything until now, he replied that he had fallen into despondency because there was a lot of work, and therefore he slept. Then his father told him that if every day he cleared at least the area that he occupies during sleep, then the matter would have already advanced. The son set to work and, with God's help, gradually cleaned everything up.
This is familiar to everyone. When there is a lot of work, a person gets scared, gives up and begins to think that “you can’t redo all the work anyway.” This quality of ours, which manifests itself in ordinary human affairs and occupations, makes itself felt in our spiritual life as well. Something is not given to us - and we immediately quit: “I can’t immediately pray like Elijah the prophet, through whose prayer it began to rain, then I won’t at all.” Or: “I have been striving for three whole days, but I still do not have unceasing prayer - what is it?” Or: “I have been going to church every Sunday for three years already, but I still don’t have dispassion - how can it be?”
Justification for discouragement
It seems to us that there is an excuse for our despondency: “I can’t do it.” But that's really just an excuse. After all, if a person has failures in some everyday affairs, then what does he do? So he wanted to go to college, but he did not prepare and could not pass, say, chemistry. What does he start to do if he still wants to study at this institute? Hires tutors, carefully prepares, teaches chemistry. The following year, he manages to pass the exam - and he enters the institute. Nobody is surprised by this. Everything is fine. It is the same in the spiritual life: when a person wants to acquire some virtue and for some reason fails, he must also draw a conclusion about why this happened and in what respect he needs to improve.
Suppose he does everything right, but gives in to pride. Therefore, he needs to pay attention to the fight against it. Or: he does everything right, but does not have sufficient zeal for prayer, he prays distractedly. So he needs to force himself to pray. And we do not want to draw such simple, elementary conclusions that we would have made in an ordinary situation without any extraneous prompting. And we begin to lose heart instead of starting to work. It didn’t work out the first time - it will work out the second, the third, but it will definitely work out. Even this struggle itself, the very forcing oneself to correct oneself in one way or another, already brings grace into a person's soul.
Cunning in the fight against despondency
How to deal with despondency? This can be done in different ways. For some, it even helps at times to have a good meal. But if you fight only in this way and do not use any more, then maybe there will be no despondency, but everything else will be. St. John of the Ladder advises sometimes to use this cunning in the fight against anger. He says: "When anger is fighting you, you can give some small consolation to the womb." But it’s good if it’s small, otherwise sometimes a person will be so comforted - to self-forgetfulness! Of course, this is unreasonable. It is permissible to use another trick: to somehow joke. The priest can joke in time and with an innocent joke put a person in a cheerful mood. Let it not be a spiritual joy, but it is still better than despondency. But this, again, is a trick - a small one, not decisively solving the issue.
The best cure for depression
And if you take the problem seriously, then, of course, the best remedy for despondency is prayer, especially the Jesus Prayer. In addition, during despondency, one should try with all one's strength to do everything as usual, that is, not to give up one's usual activities, not to abandon the rule of prayer, to force oneself to pray intensely, with attention. The memory of death also helps a lot in this battle. It seems strange: a person remembers death - and he loses his despondency. On the contrary, one should be discouraged. However, it is not.
It is the memory of death, of the future life that sobers a person. When he begins to think about eternity, he realizes that against this background, all earthly sorrows are insignificant - not only minor ones, but also serious ones: a severe battle with this or that type of sin or a dangerous illness, one’s own or loved ones. Thanks to the memory of a mortal, everything appears in a different light, namely, in its true light. A person sobers up and understands that in reality everything that brings him to a state of despondency, disarms him is a mirage and that there is no need to attach importance to all this.
The main thing in the fight against despondency is self-compulsion
If we do not force ourselves, then no advice, no miraculous power or supernatural help from above will help us. We must understand that we are free beings and much depends on our own choice. The Lord is always ready to help us, we can say that He has already rushed to help us, but we neglect this help. We do not notice it because we plunge into the darkness of despondency to such an extent that we do not even want to respond a little to this Divine action, which strengthens us in the struggle. It happens that a person will not even do anything, but will simply endure despondency and will not leave his usual work or attendance of divine services - and the grace of God immediately comforts his heart, he feels that the Lord is with him.
The opposite of laziness, as you know, hard work. This is where you need to acquire spiritual industriousness. Labor is, as they say, difficult. We may not want to do something, but we know that it is necessary, and we do it, overcoming fatigue, and sometimes pain. Work is driven by necessity - not all of us do it with pleasure - and for the most part it brings consolation only when we have already completed the work and see its result. Even embarking on some business with pleasure, we still involuntarily encounter difficulties and there is a desire to quit it. But imagine a surgeon doing an operation, and it dragged on, it’s been going on for three whole hours, and he throws a scalpel: “Let someone else sew it up, but I’m tired, you’re standing here, already sweating all over.” What will happen then?
Laziness in the human soul
Laziness in any worldly matter is, of course, bad for the soul of a person, but laziness in a spiritual sense is much more terrible. If the Lord, perhaps, still descends to the lazy in work and has mercy on him, then for the lazy in prayer, struggle with thoughts, passions, there is no way out. One should not think that the struggle for one's salvation is such an easy and simple thing that there should be no obstacles in it. The kingdom of heaven needs. This compulsion is necessary throughout life, and not in such a way that now you understand everything, you work for three days, and then you get bored: they say, everything is fine anyway. A person develops and, having changed for the better in some way, sometimes he has to force himself again and again to achieve greater virtues. Thus, he steadily moves towards eternal life, sometimes achieving the most exalted spiritual results, the most beautiful and, as it seemed to him before, elusive virtues.
Question answer:
Question
- Father, I can’t get better at all, and I’m very discouraged by this. It seems that it is impossible not to lose heart. After all, for myself and for others, it is obvious that I remain as passionate as before. This makes me want to cry. How not to succumb to despondency, and in general, how to relate to the fact that you want to cry?
